Sometimes, when I shut my eyes, I can picture the person I used to be. She stands confidently in her chic shoes, her outfit impeccably pressed, exuding an air of ease. Her thoughts are organized, her body is vibrant, and she enjoys the luxury of free time. That is the me from before—before I embraced the wild ride of motherhood.
Will I ever see her again? Honestly, I’m not sure. Motherhood has reshaped my existence in ways I never imagined. Each day, my kids fill my heart with their unfiltered love and endless curiosity. But let’s be real; my body has taken quite a beating in the process of bringing them into this world.
Sleepless nights? I knew they were coming. Losing my identity as a pain-free person? That caught me off guard. I had no idea just how harsh the toll of motherhood would be on my physical self.
These days, I wake up feeling like I’m 80. Every morning, there’s always something that aches. It didn’t start out this way—my transition into motherhood was relatively smooth at first. Sure, I was exhausted (carrying twins is no small feat), but then life threw me some unexpected curveballs.
What began as a harmless itch on my palms turned into a diagnosis of cholestasis, a rare gallbladder condition that left me feeling like I was on fire. Then came pre-eclampsia, just as my swollen legs and feet ached with every step, and my appetite vanished (good luck keeping a normal belly size when two babies are vying for space).
When labor finally began, I felt a wave of relief, convinced the worst was behind me. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I endured a “natural” delivery that turned into a nightmare due to a sudden hemorrhage, leading to a transfusion of 12 pints of blood and an 8-day stay in the ICU.
And the gifts I received? A blood clot the size of a baseball in my abdomen, a month of incontinence that made standing up feel like a waterfall moment, heart palpitations that showed up at the most inopportune times, and an episiotomy that was so poorly done it left me shuffling around and sitting on pillows for six long months.
Eventually, I recovered from that harrowing experience and began to care for my little ones. I thought I had pushed past the pain, but it wasn’t long before it caught up with me again. Just two months later, I managed to tear the lowest disc in my spine. What a feat! All this from a body that had been perfectly healthy before motherhood. The resulting agony made those early weeks with my twins feel even more exhausting, and it hung around for seven months. Luckily, I was so zonked that I could sleep with ice packs.
Then, two months later, my right hip decided to take a vacation, leaving me with a strain that took weeks to heal. Pain took a break for a while, only to return during the summer when my babies started teething. That’s when the dizziness kicked in.
Most people wouldn’t call dizziness pain, but when it feels like you’re on a relentless merry-go-round, it’s a whole different story. Headaches, nausea, and an inability to focus on anything, including social media, plagued me for five agonizing weeks. Even my doctor was stumped.
Yet, this relentless toll on my body has somehow revealed unexpected strength. I’ve caught glimpses of amazement in the eyes of strangers as I effortlessly scoop up two tantrum-throwing toddlers or collapse a double stroller with one hand and a foot. They look at me with a mix of sympathy and sheer astonishment, marveling at my physical capabilities—or perhaps just how I manage the chaos that seems to follow me everywhere.
It’s amusing, really. Before I became a mom, I was averse to heavy lifting, yet now it’s a daily occurrence. Despite how creaky I feel these days, I wouldn’t trade my new body for anything. I’ve got a remarkable frame that brought two lives into this world simultaneously, and it’s still holding strong. My body is doing the best it can, so I’m learning to be kinder to myself. It’s been far more resilient than I ever thought possible—and if a little pain is part of the package, so be it.
So here’s what nobody tells you: if you choose this path, motherhood will be the most significant physical challenge you’ll ever face. But hey, as the saying goes—no pain, no gain. I recently realized that “they” were probably mothers, too.
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Summary
Motherhood transforms you in unimaginable ways, often at the cost of physical comfort. While the journey can be fraught with pain and challenges, it also unveils a newfound strength and resilience. Embracing this duality—pain and joy—defines the motherhood experience, making it one of the toughest yet most rewarding challenges you can undertake.