The holiday season can be a challenging time for families with children on the autism spectrum. Picture this: a few days off from school, a bustling house filled with relatives chatting loudly, the enticing aroma of roasted turkey, and an abundance of food that might not be suitable for your child’s sensory preferences. It can quickly turn from festive to frantic.
As a parent of two teenage boys with autism, I’ve been through my fair share of holiday gatherings. Christmas, in particular, can be one of the more overwhelming holidays for our family. So, how do we manage to keep our spirits high and our sanity intact during this time? Here are some practical tips to help you navigate the holiday hustle and bustle.
1. Arrive Early to Get Comfortable
Getting to your destination before the crowd arrives can make a world of difference. It gives your child time to acclimate to the new environment. For instance, my son often needs a few moments to adjust after we park the van, so we make sure to allow ample time for that transition. Trust me, arriving before the chaos begins can save you from missing out on the feast!
2. Bring Familiar Foods
When it comes to holiday meals, my boys have their own preferences. For us, fruit salad—just plain fruit without any sauces—has been a safe bet. In the past, we’ve transported entire meals to relatives’ homes, including lunch meats and homemade chicken nuggets. While it may not scream “holiday cheer,” ensuring your child has something they’re comfortable eating is what matters most.
3. Consider Hosting
While hosting can be a bit pricier, I’ve found it often leads to a more relaxed atmosphere. When we host, I don’t have to worry about my kids accidentally breaking Grandma’s vintage china or wandering off. Plus, having our own space means the boys can engage with their favorite activities in a familiar environment.
4. Bring Entertainment
To keep the kids busy, we pack our trusty Wii console. It’s a great way to give them something familiar to focus on while the adults catch up. If they don’t have a fun distraction, they might resort to opening and closing doors—believe me, that gets old quickly!
5. Create a Quiet Eating Area
It’s important to have a designated quiet spot for your child to eat away from the noise. Whether it’s the pantry or a cozy corner, having a space where they can feel safe and calm can help them enjoy their meal without feeling overwhelmed.
6. Stick to Routines as Best as You Can
Holidays can disrupt your normal schedule, leading to increased anxiety. Try to maintain some elements of your routine, even if it’s just a simple drive to drop off recyclables like we did one holiday. Familiar activities can provide comfort amidst the chaos.
7. Communicate Your Needs
Don’t hesitate to let your family and friends know what would help you during the holidays. Whether it’s needing a quiet space or a little extra support, most people are more than willing to lend a hand if they know how.
8. Prepare for Quick Exits
Sometimes, the best plan is to know when it’s time to leave. If things get overwhelming, it’s perfectly okay to take a breather or head home early. Recognizing your family’s limits is key to avoiding meltdowns.
9. Find Gratitude Amidst the Chaos
Finally, remember to appreciate the moments, however chaotic they may be. Whether it’s a nap time for your child or a shared laugh over a funny incident—like when your son stealthily snatched a buttery roll from Aunt Nancy—these are the moments that make the holiday season special.
So, pour yourself a well-deserved glass of wine after the festivities and kick back. You’ve earned it!
Summary
Navigating the holiday season with children on the autism spectrum requires patience and preparation. By arriving early, bringing familiar food, and creating a comfortable environment, you can make the holidays more enjoyable for everyone. Don’t forget to communicate your needs and cherish the little moments of joy that arise amidst the chaos.