My partner is a doctor, which means he spends a lot of time away from home. When he is around, though, he’s the best partner and dad you could ask for. Think Tickle Monster, epic Lego builds, and those yummy muffins right out of the oven. But more often than not, it’s just me and the boys navigating our daily adventures.
I take immense pride in managing my three kiddos solo. At first, I invested in a triple stroller (that was quickly deemed a disaster), but now I’ve got scooters, balance bikes, and two-wheelers for my older two to zip around while I push the baby. When the inevitable meltdowns occur, I strap on the baby carrier, even though my youngest is nearly 25 pounds, and maneuver my big boys in the double stroller.
Sometimes, I rely on the kindness of strangers—like when I need an extra hand to get through a doorway, or when I’m wrestling that heavy double stroller up the steps to my front door. My morning showers are regularly interrupted by the delightful sounds of my boys yelling, “Mooooooommmmmm!!!! Is it morning yet?!?!” I fix things, pump air into tires, change batteries, parallel park, shovel snow, take out the trash (and splinters), cook, clean… I often say I’m “doing it all” on my own. But am I really?
No matter how many times I’m left alone with my kids, or how much of their care is on my shoulders, I’ll never truly understand the experience of a single mom. Those incredible women are truly going it alone.
We gather at playgrounds whenever the weather allows—not just to wear out our little tornadoes, but also for the camaraderie of other mothers in the neighborhood. We join parenting classes, breastfeeding support groups, schedule playdates, form carpools, and create chat rooms and blogs—all to find connection. We’ve all realized that parenting is not a solo act.
When I’m struggling to push that triple stroller, loading and unloading three little guys in and out of our minivan, or throwing food at them during dinner, I often feel like I’m drowning. Saturday mornings are spent brainstorming activities that won’t drive me up the wall, and it seems there’s always someone napping (but never all at once!). In those moments of self-pity, I pause and remind myself that my dear partner will eventually return to tell me how amazing I am, to appreciate my efforts, and to offer that much-needed emotional support—if only he could be here more often.
It must be incredibly lonely to know that your partner might come home late—or worse, not at all. For those moms, “doing it alone” isn’t a temporary situation while waiting for a text from Dad that he’s on his way home. They are their children’s everything. And don’t forget the financial responsibilities that come with raising a family alone.
So, no, I’m not really doing it alone. Not even close. But let’s give a big shout-out to the incredible single mothers out there. Whether you’re younger or older, whether your kids remind you of someone you loved and lost, or someone you never met, you have to have all the answers. You don’t get to say, “That’s Daddy’s job…” when something needs to be done. You change every diaper, soothe every nightmare, and you don’t get a day off.
Who do you turn to for a break? Who do you vent to when you’ve just bumped your car? How do you muster the energy to give your kiddos everything they need? Who loves your children just as fiercely as you do? Who tells you you’re beautiful, even in your comfy sweatpants?
This is my tribute to you, Single Mom. If you’re smiling, if you’ve managed to wash your hair, or if you’ve simply survived another day—heck, if your kids are dressed—you deserve a medal. And I’ll meet you at the playground any day.
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Summary:
In this heartfelt tribute, Jamie Carter reflects on the challenges and triumphs of parenting while recognizing the unique struggles faced by single mothers. While she takes pride in managing her three children largely on her own, she acknowledges that true single moms navigate a much different, often lonelier, reality. This piece serves as a shout-out to those incredible women who handle everything from diaper changes to emotional support without the luxury of a partner at home.