Parenting young kids can often feel like a rollercoaster ride filled with unexpected twists and turns. Here are 50 lessons learned that might just make your journey a little smoother:
- Super glue should never enter a home with little ones.
- Sharpies are a definite no-go.
- There’s no such thing as “just one” play session with your phone.
- Avoid diagnosing illnesses using Google. Always.
- Dollar store toys may cost you much more than a dollar in headaches and regrets.
- The “terrible twos” are a myth; the chaos can extend well into age four—or longer.
- Keep wipes handy, even after diapers are long gone.
- Steer clear of character Band-Aids unless you’re ready for a weekly purchase.
- You can never have too many Goldfish crackers, but stick to the snacks, not the pets.
- Bunk beds are best avoided unless absolutely necessary.
- Track gifts received during birthday parties for thank-you notes.
- Stocking batteries is a bad idea; you’ll just end up with noisy toys again.
- Bulk buy Mr. Clean Erasers—they’re lifesavers.
- Always backup photos; printing them is even better.
- Check the oven before turning it on to avoid surprises.
- Making beds is pointless; embrace the chaos.
- You will inevitably turn into your mother—just accept it.
- Always check pockets before doing laundry.
- There’s no quick trip to Target with kids; plan for the unexpected.
- Capture more moments on video; they’ll be treasured later.
- Daily baths? Overrated.
- Find young babysitters and nurture them; the less glamorous, the better.
- Keep a stash of one-dollar bills for lost teeth and small bribes.
- Always have emergency snacks in the car.
- Keep your expensive makeup out of reach—kids are crafty.
- The four-year-old check-up is a challenge.
- Always take a look before sitting down to pee.
- Teach kids to tidy up Legos before bed; stepping on one at midnight is painful.
- Save “no” for the moments that really matter.
- Apply sunscreen generously.
- Approach stray raisins on the floor with caution; they may not be what they seem.
- Never pay full price for kids’ clothing; it will likely get ruined anyway.
- The anticipation of a surprise trip to Disney can be overwhelming.
- Don’t trust kids when they say they don’t need to pee before heading out.
- Lock your bedroom door for some peace.
- And don’t forget the bathroom door.
- Avoid opening soda cans handed to you by children.
- Walk away from tantrums; or record them for future laughs.
- Hair does grow back, even if it’s a disaster right now.
- But Barbie dolls won’t recover, so hide the scissors.
- Limit shoe purchases to two pairs at a time; kids grow fast.
- No matter the promises, kids won’t walk that puppy as much as you’d hoped.
- Donate the books you dread reading.
- No kid has ever gone to college with a pacifier.
- Avoid toys that come apart unless they can reassemble them independently.
- Keep a secret stash of lollipops for emergencies.
- Play-Doh doesn’t belong on carpets or indoors, period.
- TV won’t turn their brains to mush, despite what they say.
- A bathroom with boys will never smell fresh.
- Remember, it never really gets easier.
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In summary, parenting is a wild ride full of challenges and surprises, but with a little preparation and humor, you can navigate it successfully.
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