Let’s face it: I’ve always been a fan of a good time. My college days were a whirlwind of wild parties, late-night taco runs, and a few too many questionable decisions. But now that I’m in my thirties—an age where I’m expected to be a responsible adult (or at least pretend to be)—I can hardly recall the last time I truly let loose. At 35, my options for a fun night out seem pretty limited.
If I’m looking to socialize beyond playdates and overpriced product parties (you know the ones), I generally have two choices: venture into a club filled with twenty-somethings, where I inevitably feel like the grandparent in the room, or head to a quieter bar where everyone’s sipping martinis and discussing their latest case. Not exactly thrilling, right?
While I love a good dance party, I’m at that awkward age where I risk being the “oldie” trying too hard to relive my youth. And while I can appreciate a sophisticated cocktail in a low-key atmosphere, sometimes you just want to dance like nobody’s watching—while wearing comfortable shoes, of course!
It’s a tough spot for us thirtysomethings. We’re too old to blend in at a club filled with people who were born when we were still in high school, yet still young enough to crave more than quiet jazz and overpriced drinks. Isn’t it ironic?
Here’s a thought: how about opening a venue exclusively for us? Imagine a dance floor free of super-fit twenty-somethings, with music that includes those glorious ’90s hits—who wouldn’t want to bust a move to Sir Mix-a-Lot? This place would kick off at seven PM, allowing us to have dinner first (because let’s be real, we’ve learned the hard way that drinking on an empty stomach is a rookie mistake). It would close by 1 AM—after all, we have responsibilities in the morning, like surviving our kids’ early wake-up calls.
And let’s talk about drink specials—two-for-one, please! We’re managing mortgages and babysitter fees now. There would be a chill-out zone for when the music gets a bit too loud (because, yes, that’s a real thing now), and let’s not forget the bathroom attendants stocked with ibuprofen, hand sanitizer, and Tums. Maybe even a massage therapist on-site, just in case we pull a muscle trying to keep up with the beat. Plus, a complimentary shuttle service because we’re wise enough to know that the sober friend is not always the best option for a ride home.
This club would be a magical oasis, where we could celebrate life and relive our youthful exuberance, all while maintaining the wisdom that comes with our thirties. No more awkward moments of feeling out of place or uncool for knowing when to call it a night.
And let’s be honest; I need a venue where I can rap “Shoop” without getting eye rolls from anyone who wasn’t even born when it came out. Someone, please make this happen! The first round is on me.
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Summary
Thirtysomethings need their own venues to enjoy nightlife without feeling out of place. A dedicated club could offer the perfect blend of nostalgia and fun, with music from our youth, affordable drinks, and a friendly atmosphere. It’s about celebrating life at this age while embracing the wisdom we’ve gained.