As a devoted college football mom, I can tell you that when September rolls around, our focus shifts from pumpkin spice everything to every thrilling moment on the field. After a particularly intense game last weekend, it dawned on me: raising kids is strikingly similar to the world of college football. From the strategies and setbacks to the cheers and groans, the parallels are endless. Let’s dive in!
1. Encroachment
Ah, attachment parenting, how I adored those snuggly moments—until I didn’t. Fast forward through four kids, and suddenly, I’m desperate for my personal space. I’m now the small offensive lineman staring down a towering defensive back. Please, teenage son who just polished off a family-sized pizza, don’t come crashing into my bubble!
2. Hands to the Face
I used to cherish those tender moments of feeding a baby, gazing into their bright eyes while those tiny fingers grazed my face. But now? No more face-touching, please! Those sticky hands have lost their charm. Unless one of you becomes a makeup artist, in which case, my face is all yours—bring the airbrush!
3. Unnecessary Roughness
With four boys in the house, it’s a continuous cycle of roughhousing penalties. Our home is basically a wrecking zone, and we’ve become regulars at the emergency room. Who has the latest bruise? If you’re looking for concussion research, just pop on over!
4. Overtime
Parenting is like a game that never truly ends. Finally lulled the baby to sleep after hours of rocking? Just kidding—he’s awake the moment you lay him down. Kids all tucked in for the night? Surprise! Someone’s up at 3 a.m. with a stomach bug. When the science project is due tomorrow? Yep, that’s a penalty for overtime, my friend. Hydrate, mom—this game is ongoing!
5. The Upset
You think you’re rocking this parenting gig—laundry’s done, the kitchen sparkles, and the kids behave like angels. Enjoy it while it lasts, because one burnt dinner can send your household into chaos. One minute you’re winning, and the next, you’re scrambling to redeem yourself!
6. Cover Two, Man-to-Man, Zone Defense
In the beginning, it’s just you and your partner, keeping a watchful eye on your first baby—easy peasy! But toss in baby #2, and suddenly you’re in man-to-man defense. By the time baby #3 and #4 come along, it’s full-on zone defense. Now, I’m just trying to survive by feeding them and keeping them alive while I wait for the second string to take over.
7. Hail Mary
Every mom has that moment—when you’re backed up on your own 30-yard line, just throw it all out there! Call your girlfriends, and plan a well-deserved girls’ night out. Sometimes, the best play in the huddle is simply “GNO, 7 p.m. ASAP… hut, hut, hut!”
In the end, parenting and college football share a wild, unpredictable journey filled with highs and lows. Whether you’re navigating the chaos at home or cheering from the sidelines, remember to take a breather and enjoy the game. And if you’re looking for insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource: NICHD. For more on home insemination kits, visit BabyMaker and don’t miss our other blog post for tips on maintaining your sanity in this parenting game: Intracervical Insemination.
Summary:
Parenting shares many similarities with college football—from the struggle for personal space to the chaos of overtime. It’s a wild ride filled with unexpected challenges and victories. So gear up, take a breather when needed, and enjoy the game of life!