A few years back, my friend Sarah and I were sharing our parenting tales when we stumbled upon the riveting topic of naps. “My little one took an epic nap yesterday,” Sarah exclaimed. “I managed to clean out the closet and do some laundry, then I found myself pacing and thinking, ‘Wake up already! I’m bored!’”
I nearly dropped my coffee in shock. Did she just say she was bored while her child was napping? Meanwhile, I often find myself wishing my two boys would snooze for as long as humanly possible. After a brief internal struggle, all I could muster was, “Sounds like a great napper.” We quickly shifted gears to discuss which toys drive us up the wall.
This conversation lingered in my mind, and I realized something significant: Sarah is a full-blown extrovert. She unwinds by calling friends, cranking up music, or organizing potlucks. Playing with a toddler is just another social interaction for her.
Then there’s me, happily nestled in the introvert camp. A peaceful, quiet home and a good book are what recharge my batteries after a long day. While I can engage socially, I definitely need my alone time to recuperate.
When you’re an introverted parent, the adjustment can feel a bit overwhelming. Suddenly, your alone time vanishes. Sure, your baby may be silent, but from the moment they arrive, solitude is a rare luxury.
Here are four things I highly recommend introverted moms avoid:
- Don’t feel guilty about wanting a break: My favorite part of the day? After the kids are tucked in bed. Most introverted parents I know share this sentiment. I absolutely love my kids, but I cherish the quiet time I get once they’re asleep. If you find yourself yearning for some solo time, know that it’s perfectly normal—no need to sacrifice your “Good Parent” badge over it.
- Don’t neglect your need for solitude: Kids tend to cling and require constant attention, which can be exhausting. If you’re a genuine introvert, you’ll need some quiet moments to recharge your patience. Whether it’s grabbing a magazine for a few extra minutes in the bathroom or sneaking out for a quick evening stroll, prioritize finding moments for yourself. It’s okay to request some alone time; you’ll be a better parent for it.
- Don’t isolate yourself too much: Contradictory, I know, but even introverts can have too much solitude. While your baby is always near, they don’t provide the kind of stimulating conversation that a good friend can. Schedule coffee dates, playdates, or even a night out every now and then. Consider joining a local mom’s group—having some social interaction will help you appreciate your quiet time even more.
- Don’t assume this will last forever: My boys are now in elementary school, leaving at 7:30 a.m. and returning around 3 p.m. The first day I dropped them off, I nearly danced with joy on the way home! As they grow, their neediness decreases, and you’ll find yourself with more time to enjoy your favorite activities—like reading or tidying up. Embrace this time, and remember that before long, they may be teenagers who want nothing to do with you.
So, hang in there and soak up the chaos. Yes, it can be exhausting, but it won’t be forever. And if you need a little escape, the latest issue of your favorite magazine is just a bathroom break away!
If you found this helpful, check out this post for more insights on parenting and beyond. And for expert advice on home insemination, visit Make a Mom. For more information on pregnancy, the CDC has an excellent resource available here.
Summary
Navigating parenthood as an introverted mom can be challenging, but it’s essential to prioritize self-care and create a balance between solitude and social interaction. Embrace your need for alone time, connect with other moms, and remember that this phase won’t last forever.