- Your primary role feels like a full-time gig as the unofficial volunteer coordinator at your kids’ school.
- You’ve tried out every fitness trend imaginable, from barre classes to aqua zumba, and maybe even a pole dancing session or two.
- You’ve embraced a trendy diet — be it vegan, gluten-free, or paleo — purely for lifestyle choices, not due to allergies.
- The cashiers at your local Target can practically predict your shopping patterns.
- You genuinely believe yoga pants are acceptable attire for any occasion, including weddings.
- You shell out big bucks for music, art, and gym classes just to help your newborn “make friends.”
- Your laundry room boasts a chandelier that would make a ballroom jealous.
- You run a home-based sales business, hawking everything from cosmetics to handbags, and you’ve got your inventory stashed in the trunk of your minivan.
- You frequent the gym, but your real agenda is to sip coffee and check emails in the café while your kid is in childcare.
- You’ve treated yourself to a Groupon for eyelash extensions or maybe even a little Botox — because why not?
- Your eight-year-old is already on a “competitive” sports team, and you’re their biggest fan.
- You buy organic fruits and a few bottles of wine in bulk, prioritizing your self-care.
- You have a blog where you share your suburban tales and triumphs.
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In the world of suburban parenting, it’s all about finding the humor in the chaos and embracing the quirks of motherhood. From volunteer gigs to yoga pants debates, we’re all in this together.