“Your tummy is big right there,” my four-year-old daughter remarked, poking her finger gently at my midsection. I glanced down, feeling a surge of defensiveness. “Actually, my tummy isn’t big,” I almost retorted, as if I were under attack. In my heart, I knew that sometimes, I still felt self-conscious about that very area.
Instead, I replied with a casual “Oh?” trying to brush off her comment as if she had merely shared that she played in the sandbox that day. But of course, she didn’t say that—she pointed out that I was “big.”
There was a time when such words would have sent me spiraling. Back then, every time I looked in the mirror, I zeroed in on my belly, convinced it was indeed too big. I went to extreme lengths to change that perception, dropping down to a mere 80 pounds by skipping meals and obsessing over every detail of my appearance. I didn’t stop until my body reflected all the struggles I had faced—my belly, my arms, my face—all changed by the toll of weight loss and then, eventually, pregnancy.
Then came the day my little one arrived, and the weight of motherhood filled the space where doubt used to be. I filled my closet with clothes that hugged the parts of me that had changed, and somehow, the numbers on the scale and the size of my body lost their significance. But time moves on, and now that she’s growing, those old feelings are creeping back.
The moment she called me “big,” I felt like a teenager again, caught in an emotional whirlwind. I thought I’d conquered those insecurities, but her innocent words had the power to unravel my confidence in an instant. I fumbled for a response, but she was already moving on, leaving me to reflect on the moment.
The truth is, in parenting, there’s always a next time. Conversations about body image will recur, and I need to be ready. I want to be able to tell her, “No, my tummy isn’t big right there; it’s soft because it carried you.” Instead of feeling shame, I want to embrace the stretch marks and changes as a testament to the life that I nurtured.
Next time, I want her to see that my belly is not a symbol of failure; it’s a badge of honor. I want her to know that her body, too, is perfect just the way it is. Because whatever size we are, our bodies are capable of incredible things.
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In summary, conversations about body image can be challenging, especially when it comes from our children’s innocent observations. It’s important to embrace our bodies and teach the next generation to do the same, celebrating the strength and beauty that comes with motherhood.