Before welcoming my two little ones into the world, I wouldn’t have classified myself as a total girly-girl, but I certainly enjoyed my makeup, stylish outfits, and the occasional piece of bling. Now? I feel like I might need a crash course in makeup application once my boys are older. After a long day of chasing them around, I find myself sinking into the couch with a cold drink, binge-watching reruns of my favorite shows, and wondering when I morphed into a dude.
While I might be leaning into some stereotypes, my husband embodies the classic “man” in many ways. So, I’ve compiled a list of how becoming a mom has nudged me closer to his side of the fence. Time to reconnect with my feminine side before the boys ramp up their testosterone levels even more!
1. I Can Get Ready in 5 Minutes
I used to envy my husband’s effortless routine. While I’d take over an hour to shower, style my hair, and meticulously apply makeup, he could be ready in just a few minutes. Fast forward to now, and I’ve discovered his secret: not caring as much. With just a quick rinse, a dash of powder, and mascara, I’m out the door. Sometimes I even determine my outfit based on whether or not I’ve shaved my legs. Now I’m the one stuck in the car waiting for him to finish getting ready. So annoying!
2. I’ve Become Comfortable with Public Exposures
Breastfeeding didn’t work out with my first child, but I successfully nursed my second. The first time I had to do it in public, I felt exposed and vulnerable. But when your baby is wailing, you quickly learn to disregard the discomfort. Now, I find myself wearing the most impractical shirts for nursing at the most public of times. But then I see a man at the park flaunting his hairy chest and think, “Wow, maybe I’m not so exposed after all!”
3. I Have a ‘Wife’ for Cooking
I call it my ‘wife,’ but it’s really a trusty crockpot. When I do cook, it’s mostly about arranging food on plates or throwing together whatever I can find in the fridge. If it tastes awful, I tell my husband I’ll never make it again—like I followed a recipe! When I whip up something good, I brag about it as if I just catered a five-star event. I keep it rare, though, to avoid raising his expectations.
4. I’ve Swapped Foreplay for ‘After Sleep’
With kids, nighttime can be unpredictable. My four-year-old seems to have a radar for when my husband and I might want some “us time.” Between late-night visits and unexpected nightmares, the idea of romance often takes a backseat. Now, the closest we get to intimacy is the bliss of post-sleep, though cuddling is off the table (too hot, and he snores!).
5. I’ve Embraced the Gross Stuff
When my first son was a baby, I thought it was cute to let him crawl around without a diaper—until he pooped on the carpet. In a moment of desperation, I caught it with my hands. My husband was horrified, but I was surprisingly unfazed. I’ve done all sorts of gross things since then, from cleaning up vomit to wiping boogers with my fingers. My husband might be reconsidering his choice of partner after witnessing all this!
6. I’ve Adopted the Smell Test
Before kids, I was meticulous about laundry. Now, I find myself rummaging through the hamper, debating if that shirt or pair of pants can survive another wear. With triple the laundry and half the wardrobe, I’ve become a pro at the smell test. It’s like a personal challenge to see how long I can stretch out my jeans!
7. My Listening Skills Have Deteriorated
My husband has this knack for pretending to listen, nodding along at all the wrong moments. I used to pride myself on being an attentive listener. Now, with my son asking the same question repeatedly and the baby crying in the background, I find myself using my husband’s tactic—nodding and saying “right, right” while my son insists on finishing his thoughts!
Am I being a little unfair in my observations? Maybe. But perhaps it’s not so bad to meet in the middle. My husband has become a nurturing partner in ways I never anticipated, and my ability to deal with gross situations has certainly spared our carpet.
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In summary, motherhood has transformed me in amusing ways, blending my personality with my husband’s quirks. From getting ready in minutes to embracing the gross and neglecting my listening skills, I’ve definitely leveled up in the parenting game!