Yesterday morning, I set my alarm for 6 AM, dreaming of some precious alone time before my little ones started demanding my attention. (Let’s be real, though—I’m essentially on call 24/7, especially with a newborn in the house.) My baby woke up at 4:45 for a feeding, and when I finally laid her back down at 5 AM, I felt surprisingly awake. It was a rare moment of peace, with the baby sleeping for an impressive SIX POINT SEVEN FIVE HOURS (Hallelujah!). I had all the reasons to seize the day—enjoy a hot cup of coffee, blog my heart out, hit the pavement for a run, or even indulge in a long shower—before my husband would need me to take over parenting duties so he could dash off to work.
But instead of savoring my newfound freedom, I did exactly what I promised myself I wouldn’t do the night before. I drew the blackout curtains tighter, snuggled into my cozy bed, tucked the covers up to my chin, and drifted back to sleep—my old reliable habit.
As I slipped back into slumber, I made a vow: I wouldn’t wake up two hours later feeling guilty for being lazy or for not doing something productive, like exercising. I decided to treat myself with the same kindness I’d offer a friend in my situation. I would remind her, “Are you out of your mind? You lost all the weight after your first pregnancy, and you’ll do it again! But don’t expect it to vanish overnight; give yourself some grace. You have a SEVEN WEEK OLD BABY!”
I would tell her, “Sure, it’s fantastic that your little one slept through the night, but one good night doesn’t erase seven weeks of sleeplessness.” I’d also say, “You have a lot on your plate right now. It’s perfectly okay if your blog isn’t updated.” And let’s face it—before kids, I nursed the same cup of coffee all morning, hoping for that magical moment of enjoyment while it was still hot. That hot coffee has always been a bit of a fantasy for me.
When I finally rolled out of bed around 7 AM, I felt rested, if not exactly ready to jump for joy (to borrow a phrase from my toddler). Sure, I had not accomplished my first goal—waking up at the desired time—but I wouldn’t judge a friend for hitting snooze after a long night with a baby.
We all know the Golden Rule: Treat others as you’d like to be treated. But why is it so much harder to extend that kindness to ourselves? So here’s my twist on that rule: Treat yourself as you would treat others. I vow to remember this more often.
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In summary, it’s essential to remember to be gentle with ourselves, especially during the chaotic and beautiful journey of parenthood. Embracing self-kindness and understanding our limitations can make a world of difference.