“Did you catch how she’s feeding her baby?”
“I can’t believe she thinks that’s acceptable?! He sleeps where?”
“What kind of parent allows their child to sleep like that?”
Welcome to the world of parenting in public. Motherhood is akin to being under a microscope, where our vulnerabilities and doubts are laid bare for critics waiting to pounce.
Feeling embarrassed? Wondering if you’re the only one in the playgroup doing things differently? Am I being judged?
Welcome to the Mommy Wars, where we often turn on one another—both online and in the real world. Our parenting beliefs are more visible than our views on religion or politics, making them easy targets for criticism. The Mommy Wars chip away at our confidence, one snarky comment at a time. We tear each other down because we’re struggling to hold it together, our identities fading under the weight of laundry, groceries, and the remnants of snack time strewn across the car. Motherhood is tough, so why do we resort to cruelty?
1. You’re Bored
Let’s face it, the daily routine can feel monotonous. If my son asks me to be the “blue dragon” one more time, I might just lose it. Endless repetition can drive anyone to seek a thrill, even if it’s in the form of a heated debate online about breastfeeding or sleep training. It’s our version of soap operas—only more dangerous since we can contribute to the chaos in real time.
2. You’re Angry
As a mom, expressing frustration toward your kids isn’t always an option. When my toddler decides to launch breakfast across the room, I remind myself to stay calm, even as I scream internally. Unable to vent to the little ones, we often redirect that anger towards each other.
3. You’re Jealous
You know that mom who flaunts her figure in a daring swimsuit? The one we all gossip about? Yeah, jealousy runs deep. We criticize her because we’re envious of the confidence she exudes while we struggle with our own body image. If only we could embrace our unique journeys instead of tearing each other down.
4. You’re Overwhelmed
From getting everyone dressed and fed to cleaning up after every meal, motherhood can feel like an endless cycle. Yet, we often plaster on a smile for social media, filtering out the chaos. Why must we pretend that life is perfect when reality is a hot mess?
5. You’re Exhausted
No need to elaborate here. I’ll just raise my coffee cup to you, fellow mom.
6. You’re Uncertain of Your Identity
The transition to motherhood can be isolating. We crave connection, often finding solace in shared parenting philosophies. Sometimes, that desire to feel secure leads us to push others away.
7. You Crave Recognition
Do you do a little dance when your baby finally sleeps through the night? Celebrating milestones is our way of saying, “Hey, notice me! Am I doing okay?” We’re all in need of a little validation, especially when we feel lost in the daily grind.
So, do you see now why we can be unkind to one another? We’re tired, stressed, and terrified of failing the little ones we adore. In this new landscape of parenting, we’re all just trying to find our footing.
Moms, let’s lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. It’s time to step away from the keyboard and reach out to a friend. Let her know she’s doing a great job, share your own parenting mishaps, and be honest about the challenges of motherhood. After all, your children are watching—how do you want them to treat others?
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In summary, let’s foster a sense of community and support among mothers. We need each other more than ever.
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