Oh, look! There’s a glowing pregnant woman over there. You might feel the urge to congratulate her or share some wisdom. But before you say anything, take a moment to think. Here are some things you should just keep to yourself:
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Were you trying to get pregnant? Was this planned?
Seriously, who thinks it’s appropriate to pry into someone’s bedroom activities? It’s an invasion of privacy that raises a ton of uncomfortable questions. Just don’t go there. -
Can I touch your belly?
Unless you want an elbow to the face, keep your hands to yourself! Personal space is a thing, and many pregnant women prefer to keep their bellies as off-limits as their chocolate stash. -
Are you sure there’s only one baby in there?
Thanks for your concern, but yes, I’m positive. How about you focus on your own life instead? -
Wow! You still have quite a while to go!
Oh, really? I wasn’t aware that my body is currently hosting a tiny human who is jamming my organs. A gentle reminder of how much longer I have can feel like a punch to the gut. Thanks for the tip, but I’m aware of my timeline. -
You’re going for a natural birth, right?
What’s with the unsolicited opinions? I’ll take your input into consideration—right after I figure out how to deliver my baby while juggling your expectations. -
Isn’t working while pregnant tough? Shouldn’t you rest?
Absolutely, it can be exhausting! But not all of us can afford to take a break when we’re expecting. I’ll be working until the moment I pop, thank you very much. -
Did you know that insert endless horror stories is bad for the baby?
Coffee? Soda? Hair dye? It seems like everything is a potential threat to my unborn child. Thank you for reminding me that I’m already a “bad mom” before even meeting my kid! -
Are you planning to breastfeed?
Would you casually ask someone if they get regular bikini waxes while at the grocery store? Nope? Then don’t ask about breastfeeding. -
You’re really hormonal!
Yes, I might be feeling a bit more emotional than usual, but that doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t valid. I could be crying over a commercial, but it’s still my right to feel what I feel. -
I thought you didn’t want kids!
Thanks for the reminder that life doesn’t always go according to plan. I appreciate your knack for bringing up my past decisions.
In short, just be polite, hold the door open, and pass the chocolate for the next nine months. That’s all we really need.
For more insights into pregnancy and self-insemination, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. And if you’re looking for home insemination kits, Make a Mom has you covered. Don’t forget to explore more about this topic at Intracervical Insemination.
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