One word: Help me.
Honestly, I could end my writing right here. That’s how much I loathe those infuriating craft kits.
Let’s Kick Things Off
Let’s kick things off with the images on the box, shall we?
Oh wow! Look at the fun they appear to be having! We absolutely must buy this! I can only imagine how delightful it’ll be to create a mountain of headbands and bracelets laden with glitter, stickers, buttons, and a myriad of other random bits and bobs.
Before I know it, the monstrous kit is perched on my kitchen counter, and my little one is tugging at my leg, pleading for me to liberate the ‘BEST TOY EVER’ from its cardboard prison. Armed with a butcher knife, I undertake the Herculean task of tearing open this beast of a box, an endeavor that feels like running fifteen minutes on a treadmill (which, to be honest, sounds about as inviting as a root canal).
Once I’ve stomped, sliced, and possibly shed a few tears, I finally manage to pry open the malevolent craft kit. I’m immediately greeted by an avalanche of forty-eight ridiculously tiny, easily misplaced charms, sparkles, and a bunch of other what-the-heck-is-this stuff. Seriously, this could have fit in a soda can, not a box the size of a suitcase. And yet, I get duped every. single. time. I mean, forty-eight pennies would provide just as much entertainment—and be a much cheaper craft kit at about fifty cents instead of $19.95. But my child is absolutely thrilled. I roll with it because, let’s face it, that’s what parenting is about 90% of the time—just going with the flow.
We rip apart fifteen plastic bags that hold the nine billion pieces (enough plastic to wrap a Kardashian mansion) and lay everything out. More often than not, the glitter, stickers, buttons, and other nonsense end up decorating my coffee table, sticking to the shag rug, getting lodged in our feet, or, heaven forbid, being ingested by one of our clueless dogs. After our “artistic” efforts, we end up with more glitter glue stuck to our eyelashes than actually holding any of our creations together.
The only time I notice anything resembling a completed project is when I try to place the headband on my child’s head for school the next day. We make it a solid ten minutes before realizing the glue is still wet, leaving her with streaks of purple glue in her hair and a button plastered to her forehead. Removing the now-dried headband from her hair results in a shriek of horror—because this is all my fault. I’m the one who bought the kit, who thought it was a brilliant idea to wear the headband to school, and who didn’t manage to replicate the perfect image on the box. Cue the waterworks.
By the end of the night, I’m left cleaning up a thousand tiny charms that have mysteriously migrated to the floor, while simultaneously wondering if my dogs need a vet visit because they’re pooping out glitter glue and button charms.
The Companies Behind Craft Kits
The companies behind these so-called fantastic craft kits know full well it’s the parents who are left to clean up this mess. I swear they include instructions just for laughs. If they threw in a free GoPro camera to film our struggles, I wouldn’t even bat an eye. The same goes for all toys that require even a hint of assembly.
That’s why I was always a fan of toys from companies like PlayWell. Most of their products come pre-assembled, which is exactly how I like my toys—ready to dive into playtime. I prefer my meals the same way: ‘Ready to Eat.’ There’s nothing quite like take-out Chinese or a bucket of fried chicken.
When my daughter, Lily, received the Barbie Dream House for Christmas, I feared my husband might end up in a mental institution after four hours of assembly. Thankfully, he’s got a cool and collected demeanor—thank goodness for that. Otherwise, I would have been visiting him in the Barbie Dream House Assembly Rehab.
I’m officially done with craft kits. I’m sticking to Michaels, where I can control what goes into my cart. To be honest, I get more bang for my buck there than with a craft kit whose packaging probably costs more than the contents themselves.
Craft kits, you’ve fooled me for the last time! From now on, I’m blindfolding my kid when we stroll through the toy aisle at Target.
For more parenting insights, check out this great post on our other blog.
Summary
Craft kits for kids can often lead to overwhelming chaos and frustration for parents. From the unrealistic expectations set by the packaging to the mess they create, these kits tend to be more trouble than they’re worth. While kids may be thrilled with the shiny pieces, the cleanup and assembly can leave parents questioning their sanity. For those looking for a more manageable crafting experience, stores like Michaels offer a better selection without the stress.