Molly Harper turned heads with her post-baby figure when she ventured out for milk for the first time in 10 weeks. The seasoned mom looked like a walking reminder to remember your birth control as she hopped into her car while enjoying a cup of coffee—only to spill some on her pants! But never one to back down, the stylish mom simply licked the spot off her thigh. Then, she let out a few choice words after catching a whiff of a mysterious, unpleasant odor.
Two months after welcoming her second child, Molly sported pajama jeans and an oversized button-up shirt adorned with a single vomit stain. According to a representative for Molly, she hasn’t been doing anything extraordinary to look this good just 10 weeks postpartum. “Molly’s current routine consists of crying in the basement and stress-eating chicken nuggets. Plus, she downs three to five cups of coffee daily,” they shared.
A friend of the blissfully chaotic blogger chimed in, “Sure, she’s a little concerned about the caffeine affecting her breast milk, but honestly, she’s more worried about what will happen to her kids if she skips her coffee fix!”
We consulted a fitness expert who claims to have never tasted cake. She commented, “The secret to Molly’s post-baby look is that she packed on the pounds before giving birth, indulging in those soft sugar cookies from the grocery store and binge-watching shows like The Shield and Breaking Bad.
“I mean, breastfeeding does burn some calories,” the expert continued, “but not nearly enough. Seriously, Molly, put down that Whopper and step away!”
Another factor contributing to Molly’s shape is her continuous battle with her toddler’s potty training regressions. After every messy clean-up, she sneaks into the kitchen for five mini Snickers—because, let’s face it, poop happens!
However, for those looking to mirror Molly’s journey, the real secret lies in her genetics. Hailing from sturdy German and Polish heritage, you can take the kielbasa away from the girl, but you can’t take the girl away from the kielbasa!
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out our post on intracervical insemination for more insights. For those considering the journey into motherhood, Make A Mom is an authority on home insemination kits. And don’t forget to visit UCSF’s fertility insurance FAQ for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, Molly Harper’s post-baby body has everyone talking, and while she may not have a traditional fitness regimen, her unique blend of genetics, chaotic parenting, and a caffeine-fueled lifestyle keep her looking fabulous!