Updated: Aug. 25, 2015
Originally Published: Feb. 19, 2012
Regardless of your shopping preferences, one universal truth remains — parking lots are chaotic battlegrounds. It should be straightforward: park your car, step out, and go on with your day. Yet, there are always a few who take a detour into madness, making it a challenge for the rest of us.
1. Lust
Yearning for that prime parking space transforms some drivers into Parking Spot Stalkers, fixated on claiming a coveted spot. While it’s true that a closer location is appealing, their actions can cross into unsettling territory. If you’re a woman out at night and a car is trailing you like a horror movie villain, it’s hard not to feel like you’re about to be featured on a true crime show. And heaven forbid you forget where you left your car. In an attempt to get back, you might inadvertently make them think you’re trying to steal their spot, resulting in a dramatic eye-roll as they speed away, forced to park a whole ten feet further!
2. Envy
When lust morphs into jealousy, you meet the Parking Spot Rusher. This driver becomes so consumed with wanting your space that they disregard patience, blocking traffic while inching ever closer. The truth is, the person in your desired spot is likely juggling groceries and a cranky child, not focusing on your desperate need for immediate parking. Unless you’re planning to jump out and lend a hand, just hang back!
3. Gluttony
Some folks believe they’re above the parking laws and take up multiple spaces, as if their vehicle is too precious for mere mortals. Newsflash: you are not a unique snowflake! Stick to the designated lines, people.
4. Greed
While lust and envy can lead to chaotic driving, it’s equally vital for those parked to not let their prime position go to their heads. If you sense a stalker eyeing your spot as you prepare to leave, a simple nod can signal your intent. If you’re heading back to the store, just shake your head and send them on their way to hunt for someone else.
5. Sloth
Grocery carts have a designated home, which is clearly marked and not hidden behind an elaborate maze. Parents with kids in tow can get a pass, provided they make an effort to not block others. But for everyone else, laziness isn’t a valid excuse! An unattended cart can wreak havoc, leading to accidents and grumpy drivers.
6. Wrath
How many times have you been cruising through a parking lot only to have a maniac speed toward you, ignoring all rules of the road? Just because you’re frustrated over a shopping list doesn’t mean you can flout traffic laws. Follow the arrows, people; they exist for a reason!
7. Pride
Pride often comes before a fall, especially for those who stroll down the middle of the lane, assuming they possess pedestrian superpowers. Please, pick a side! This simple act can prevent collisions and keep everyone safe.
Happy parking!
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Summary
Navigating parking lots can often feel more like a chaotic ordeal than a simple task. From lustful stalkers seeking prime spots to the prideful pedestrians oblivious to traffic, these seven deadly sins highlight the common misbehaviors encountered. Understanding these pitfalls can make your shopping experience more pleasant for everyone involved.