When you’re pregnant, every visit to the doctor seems to involve washing your hands—thanks to those pesky urine samples. Let’s be honest: peeing in a cup after 36 weeks should be an Olympic sport. The level of skill and patience required to aim accurately into such a tiny vessel is nothing short of impressive—definitely the result of some rigorous practice.
The real challenge? The size of your growing belly compared to that diminutive cup. It feels like trying to land a single drop of urine on the head of a pin while wearing a blindfold. The tradition of collecting urine samples from pregnant women likely began when someone realized just how much vital information could be derived from that small container of liquid. And admit it—watching a pregnant woman attempt this feat is pretty entertaining.
Here are some things that are surprisingly easier than peeing in that sample cup:
- Becoming the President of the United States with a major in nutrition and a minor in animal sciences.
- Giving a hug to an entire planet.
- Properly pronouncing the names of IKEA furniture.
- Unwrapping a Capri Sun straw.
- Constructing a fully functional rocket out of tape and popsicle sticks that actually goes into orbit.
- Catching a naked toddler racing down the hall at bath time.
- Winning the Tour de France on a unicycle.
- Training my cats to use the litter box correctly.
- Managing to avoid all political ads during election season.
- Stopping Old Faithful from erupting using just a piece of chewing gum.
If I understood the laws of physics better, I could explain why this is such a task. But all I know is that at this point in my pregnancy, whenever I attempt to use that cup, my aim is off, and suddenly I’m putting on a one-woman fountain show in the bathroom.
When the nurse casually asks if I’ve left my urine sample, I can only smile and confidently say yes. It’s just that it may have ended up in the cup, on the floor, and even splattered on the toilet. At least I washed my hands, right?
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination or pregnancy, check out this post. And for a comprehensive guide on the essentials, visit Cryobaby—they really know what they’re talking about. Also, for an excellent resource on pregnancy, take a look at Genetics and IVF Institute.
In summary, the art of peeing in a cup while pregnant is a hilariously frustrating challenge that requires skill, patience, and sometimes a sense of humor. Every time you step into that bathroom, you might feel like you’re in a circus act, but hey, at least you can wash your hands afterward!