We can find ourselves anywhere—at the grocery store, in line at Target, strolling through the library, or simply walking down the street—when well-intentioned strangers gaze at us with those adoring eyes. And we can predict what comes next: “Savor this time… it goes so fast.”
Here’s the truth: I do appreciate these moments. I treasure them deeply. I was that mom, cradling my newborn at 3 AM, reminding myself to memorize every detail: those ten tiny pounds on my chest, her little hand curling around my finger, the way she stretched out with her elbows first.
I’m conscious of the fleeting moments, aware of how swiftly the weeks fly by, and I truly cherish this special time for our family. But I can’t help but wonder: What about the tough moments? What do we say about the times we don’t cherish, the days that feel anything but precious?
Like this morning, when my 22-month-old threw a two-hour tantrum, and I found myself exclaiming, “I’m done!” before locking myself in the bedroom, devouring chocolate until I felt sane again. Or that time at TJMaxx when my kids bickered so loudly they toppled our cart, sending it crashing down and their screams reverberating through the store. Or the day when my first-trimester exhaustion hit hard, and I yelled, “Can’t you just take care of yourselves for once?!”
What happens during those hard moments? Is it realistic to expect enjoyment? Those are the times when I feel like I’m failing as a mother. When it seems I’m not loving them as fiercely or attentively as I should. When my patience wears thin, my words too sharp, my gaze too harsh.
But here’s the thing about moments: they have this peculiar way of passing. They tick away, flash by, and sometimes drag on. Every single one of them. They will happen, whether we’re prepared or not. Some will be easier to enjoy than others; some will sting, while others will become precious memories.
So, dear well-meaning strangers, we’re trying our best not to overlook these moments. Deep down, we understand your advice is spot on: time flies, moments fade, and we should appreciate this special time in our families. We know that time plays by its own rules, speeding up when we want it to slow down and crawling when we wish it would fly.
But let’s face it: we can’t enjoy every moment. It’s just not going to happen. Because being a mom is tough.
So to all the tired moms, the new ones, the barely-holding-it-together ones, and the coffee-fueled warriors: stop stressing about enjoying every moment. That’s just one more thing to add to your endless “should” list.
Here’s what you really need to grasp: you are already a great mother. You love your kids fiercely, and that’s what truly matters.
What if we shifted the idea of enjoyment? Instead of trying to savor every moment, we could lean into them, even if it feels like it might backfire. Embracing those challenging moments can be a form of defiance. It’s a declaration that the tough times won’t defeat us. It’s brave to affirm that we are more than just our worst minutes.
So now, when I’m faced with whining, bickering, exhaustion, and worry threatening to overwhelm me, I’ll search for something new within that moment: the chocolate smudge on her cheek from a sneaky cookie, her attempts to use new words like “appetizer” and “ridiculous,” or the other one’s newfound talent for walking backward. Maybe even laugh instead of cry at how wildly the day has derailed.
Because I want to know that I lived fully and audaciously—not just in snippets. Even through these demanding years that can be so draining. Even amidst moments that test my sanity. Even then.
So, the next time someone tells you to enjoy this right before you’re on the verge of losing it, just smile and say, “I will.” Then, with all the defiance you can muster, don’t let a tough day win. Seek out that one tiny moment you can grasp and embrace it wholeheartedly.
For more insights on navigating motherhood and family planning, check out this excellent resource on family-building options at Resolve. And if you’re looking for the best home insemination kits, CryoBaby has got you covered!
And don’t forget to explore our other posts on related topics, like this one, for more engaging content!
Summary:
In the journey of motherhood, it’s vital to acknowledge that not every moment can be savored. While it’s natural to treasure special times with our children, it’s equally important to recognize and embrace the challenging moments that come with parenting. Instead of striving to enjoy every second, we should lean into the tough times, finding small joys and affirmations that remind us we are doing our best. Embracing these experiences, both good and bad, allows us to fully live through the exhausting yet rewarding years of motherhood.