Nothing invites a flood of unsolicited advice quite like becoming a parent. From the moment you announce your pregnancy, friends, family, and even complete strangers feel compelled to share their “enlightening” wisdom—tips they believe will transform your life into a fairy tale, or at least a manageable sitcom.
Have you ever noticed that most of this so-called wisdom is as useful as a chocolate teapot? You’ve probably encountered it all, and much of it boils down to generic platitudes that leave you wanting more (just take a look at point #1). While I usually refrain from dishing out advice, I’ve compiled a list of common phrases people have shared with me, reimagined to reflect the reality of parenting:
- It is what it is. Sometimes, you just don’t know what “it” is. In those moments, a good rule is to wash your hands if you’ve touched “it.”
- Expect the unexpected. You thought changing in gym class was awkward? Just wait until your child swings open the public bathroom stall while you’re mid-squat.
- This too shall pass… And by “this,” I mean gas. Your little one will produce a lot of it, and trust me, it can be quite aromatic.
- Life goes on… and so do the temper tantrums—sometimes for what feels like an eternity.
- Prepare for the worst. You will experience the worst version of yourself. Seriously, when was the last time you managed to shower?
- Hope for the best. Specifically, the best sleep you can muster, which may be more elusive than a unicorn.
- Nothing is guaranteed in life… except dirty diapers. That’s a given.
- What’s yours is mine. In the world of a two-year-old, everything is theirs, including your last slice of pizza.
- It’s always something. And it’s usually something ridiculously trivial that sets off the waterworks. My daughter has teared up over the moon being out of sight (it was daytime), her belly button being hidden under a onesie, and my refusal to take off my glasses. The list goes on!
- It takes a village to raise a child… unless you’re a polygamist, in which case, your village just got a whole lot bigger.
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Summary:
Parenting advice often comes in the form of clichés that can be more annoying than helpful. Embracing the humor in these sayings and reinterpreting them can provide a fresh perspective for new parents navigating the ups and downs of raising children.