This month, my partner and I are marking the 27th anniversary of the day we first crossed paths. By “marking,” I mean we’ll probably let it slide by unnoticed.
Having known each other for nearly three decades, I’ve spent more of my life with him than without him. It didn’t take long for us to realize that our relationship was destined to grow beyond casual dates. Sure, part of that was due to him needing someone to take care of his dog while he was busy with night classes, but that’s a tale for another time.
While our journey had its share of bumps, I can confidently say that after 27 years, we’ve built a strong foundation. We’re generally happy together, even during those moments when we’re not.
You might wonder what makes our marriage work despite the odds stacked against us:
- We Don’t Share Many Interests: We definitely align on values and life goals, but when it comes to hobbies, we’re not a perfect match. I admire couples who garden together or indulge in DIY projects, but we mostly spend our downtime napping and binge-watching TV.
- He’s Not My Type: You’d think after 27 years, he’d fit my “type,” but he really doesn’t. I have a soft spot for actors like Idris Elba or George Clooney, while my (incredibly handsome) husband is fair-skinned with freckles. Now, he sports a distinguished gray look that I quite admire. Even if he’s not my typical crush, I still find him attractive; after all, true attraction goes beyond mere appearances.
- He Wears Shoes Indoors: This isn’t a hygiene issue—I’m not one to fuss about footwear in the house. It just took me ages to realize that my husband puts on his shoes every morning, even if he isn’t heading out. I’m a shoe-off-as-soon-as-I-walk-in-the-door kind of person, so I still ask him where he’s off to on weekend mornings when he comes out in his shoes.
- He’s a Football Aficionado: Growing up with a dad who was a die-hard football fan, I never imagined I’d marry someone who mirrors that enthusiasm. My husband can get a bit too into the games, especially if his team is struggling. At least he refrains from betting!
- I’m an Avid Reader: While my husband enjoys reading, he doesn’t dive into books like I do. Thankfully, I can escape into a good novel while he’s engrossed in football.
- He Loves War and Prison Movies: My husband could watch The Shawshank Redemption on repeat, while I’d rather pass on such genres. Luckily, he’s flexible about movie choices, often letting me pick our outings, and he always treats me to popcorn.
- We Have Different Spending Habits: He’s a saver, and I’m a spender. If it were up to him, we’d still have that outdated blue sofa and orange chair from years ago. I’ve made some upgrades, but I think he still has a soft spot for that chair.
- I’m Not Very Outdoorsy: My husband likely wishes I enjoyed activities like hiking or paddleboarding with him. Spoiler alert: that’s not happening.
- He’s a Bratwurst Fan: Raised in Wisconsin, bratwursts are a staple for him. I didn’t even try one until I met him; I grew up in New York, where hot dogs reign supreme.
So what’s the secret to our enduring marriage? We choose to love each other every day, even on those tough days when we might want to avoid each other. Those moments when my husband turns into “Loud Screaming Fan Man” during a game, indulging in his beloved bratwurst while I retreat with a book? Yep, we navigate those too. Even when I come to bed and he’s engrossed in yet another war movie, or when packages arrive with shoes I certainly don’t need, we commit to each other.
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In summary, love is a choice we make daily, even when faced with differences that might seem insurmountable. Ultimately, it’s about commitment, understanding, and a lot of patience.