Lying is generally frowned upon, yet we often weave a tapestry of fibs throughout our children’s upbringing. From Santa Claus to the Tooth Fairy, these little deceptions are presented as essential threads of childhood magic. We hope our kids remain blissfully naïve for as long as possible, even as we indulge in a few harmless untruths. Here are the ten most common fibs I find myself telling my kids…
- I’m almost done. This classic line is my go-to. I might say I’m nearly finished preparing dinner, while in reality, we’re still a solid 30 minutes away from eating. When it comes to brushing my daughter’s hair, I assure her I’m almost done, though we both know her curls are going to make this a long affair. And yes, I know you want to keep splashing in the bath, but I’m “almost done” scrubbing your sticky little body—oh wait, what’s that in your hair?!
- Dinner is delicious! Let’s be honest, the broccoli was overcooked while I was busy wrestling with your shirt, and the “World’s Best Chicken” recipe that everyone raves about? Total flop. Just like my honesty.
- We’ll hit the park later. By “later,” I mean maybe tomorrow or the next day. Or perhaps your dad will take you while I sneak in a nap or catch another episode of my favorite show. But hey, we’ll definitely go… when you’re five. Or maybe ten.
- Of course I don’t mind sharing my food! Why would I? It’s not like I ever get a chance to eat in peace. I can always wait until you’re off to college to actually enjoy my meals.
- What an amazing drawing! Is that a stick figure next to a tree, or perhaps a walrus playing basketball in outer space? You’re so creative!
- I love bathing with you! There’s nothing quite like getting splashed repeatedly and having bath toys launched at my face. Feel free to explore my belly button while you’re at it—I’m sure it’s a thrilling experience!
- The candy is all gone. Except for the stash of Reese’s Minis I’ve cleverly tucked away in the pantry. Those are strictly for me.
- Mommy’s going to bed as well. Truthfully, I’m planning to stay up for a few more hours catching up on chores and reliving the good old days when I didn’t have to do all this in the dark, trying to avoid detection from you.
- I have no idea where your favorite noisy toy is. It’s certainly not hidden in the closet behind those boxes of clothes I keep meaning to donate. Nope, not at all.
- The TV went to sleep. Or maybe I stealthily turned it off when you weren’t looking because I couldn’t bear to sit through another episode of Daniel Tiger. It was getting too real for me!
When I eventually meet St. Peter, I’m going to owe him some serious explanations. I wonder if he has a sweet tooth for Reese’s…
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In summary, parenting often involves a few little lies to make life easier. Whether it’s about dinner, sharing food, or the whereabouts of toys, we find ourselves crafting these fibs to navigate the chaos of family life.