I totally get it—email is supposed to be the super-convenient way to communicate instead of a phone call. But when you’re wrangling two little tornadoes who seem to think my sanity is their personal playground, finding a moment to respond can feel impossible. Trust me, I’ve made a valiant effort, but then life happens…
- The moment I glance at my laptop, my kids swarm me like bees to honey. They’ve never helped me draft a single email, but somehow they’re convinced they can “assist.” Thanks a lot, educational TV!
- My keyboard has transformed into a food art project. It’s not a tech malfunction; it’s just a layer of what I hope is peanut butter. Or maybe it’s something else? OMG, why is there a mysterious smell? Who put… is that poop on my keyboard?!
- My laptop screen is basically an abstract painting of boogers. My kiddo thinks she’s decorating for the holidays. Silver lining? At least her “decorations” mean she’s not tasting them!
- I dread opening my inbox because I have this nagging feeling I sent a regrettable email to my boss while slightly tipsy last week. They say ignorance is bliss, right?
- Somehow, my kids have done the unthinkable: they pounded on the keyboard, and now everything is in German. How did they even manage that?
- My laptop is currently entombed beneath a mountain of laundry, junk mail, and random baby dolls. It’s a wonder I haven’t been pregnant in over two years, yet here are the nursing pads.
- Attempting to type a response on my phone is a lost cause since my daughter last had it—she was busy taking blurry selfies of her feet and a stick she’s dubbed her soulmate.
- Every time I sit down to type, I just end up staring blankly at the screen. Honestly, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since before the last election!
- What little free time I do scrounge up is dedicated to “me time,” which usually involves tackling my mustache, removing the winter coat of leg hair, and munching on three-hour-old chicken nuggets to check “eat dinner” off my list.
- I even attempted to use the voice-to-text feature, but my computer keeps mistaking what I say for “duck.” Seriously, someday science will save us with telepathy, and then I promise I’ll keep in touch better. Until then, let’s plan to catch up in a decade, shall we?
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Summary:
Navigating the chaos of parenting while trying to respond to emails can be a challenge. From sticky keyboards to tiny distractions, here are ten humorous reasons why I haven’t replied yet!