Life has taught me a lot, but one lesson stands out: timing is everything. Imagine receiving a luxurious new Lexus from your wealthy uncle for your birthday. If you thank him within an hour, he’ll feel appreciated. Wait six months, and he may just decide to revoke your inheritance and send his housekeeper to slash your tires. Or consider this: if you hit your favorite bar at 7:00 PM on a Thursday, you probably just want to unwind after a long workday. But showing up at 7:00 AM on a Thursday? That might signal a drinking issue. Same actions, different contexts.
Speaking of social outings, I had a rather enlightening conversation the other day with a friend, Tom, who doesn’t have kids:
Tom: “Hey, a few of us are heading out for drinks after work. Want to join?”
Me: “No thanks, my wife is working late, so I’m taking care of our daughter.”
Tom: (patronizing tone) “How sweet. Are you two going to play dress-up?”
Me: “Actually, we’re going….”
Tom: “I don’t really care what you do. It seems like babysitting is just your excuse now. Taking care of kids is a woman’s job, and you really need to man up – but you probably don’t get what that means.”
Now, I have a wonderful 16-month-old daughter, and if Tom had made similar comments before she arrived, I might be writing this from behind bars. But since my little girl has brought out the best in me, I simply shook my head and walked away. Timing is key, after all.
Oh, and by the way: watching your own child is parenting, not babysitting. Babysitting is when you pay a teenager to hang out with her boyfriend on your couch while you’re out. Seriously.
As I drove home, I pondered what “man up” really means. Does it imply neglecting my responsibilities as a father to drink beer with someone I barely like just to appear cool? Or believing that it’s solely my wife’s duty to raise our daughter while I lounge on the couch watching ESPN? That’s not how I interpret it.
In my own terms, “man up” means:
- Supporting My Wife: No matter how great a dad I think I am, my wife often works harder than I do. I try to ease her load by rubbing her feet after a long day, cooking dinner, tidying up the house, filling her car with gas, and making sure we have a real babysitter for date nights. A simple hug and saying how much I appreciate her makes a difference.
- Staying Healthy: Sure, there are days I want to swing by McDonald’s for lunch or skip the gym, but when I’m tempted, I think of my daughter. To truly “man up,” I work out regularly and eat well because I refuse to let her face the pain of losing her dad to preventable health issues.
- Public Displays of Affection: I’ve noticed some dads interact with their kids only when it’s time to discipline them. Not me! I hug, kiss, high-five, play, dance, and even sing with my daughter in public. Sure, I get some odd looks, but I don’t care. I want her to know that showing affection is normal and healthy.
- Engaging in Play: I know many fathers who happily have tea parties and dress-up sessions with their daughters. While my little one is still too young for that, I’m all in when it comes to picking out her clothes and accessories. I’ve even learned about things like “jegging” (which I had no idea about three months ago) because being present for her means embracing all her interests.
- Being a Good Role Model: I may love to curse, especially after a tough day, but you won’t hear me do it around my daughter. I want to set a good example, so I always say “please” and “thank you” around her. Just the other day, after changing her diaper, she looked up and said “tank ew” – which melted my heart.
- Persevering: There are days when my daughter tests my patience, and I wonder if I’m cut out for this. But I always remind myself that she loves me, and “maning up” means being the best dad I can be, no matter how hard things get. Parenting is the toughest job I’ve ever had, but it’s also the most rewarding.
- Caring Deeply: I’m dedicated to being loving, attentive, and supportive to my wife and daughter. The most epic night out pales in comparison to the joy I feel from an ordinary day spent with my little one. I’m committed to ensuring her health, education, and happiness come first, even if it means disappointing someone like Tom, who thinks parenting is only a woman’s job.
So, Tom, if you’re reading this, that’s my take on what it means to “man up.” Your comments were not only ignorant but also disrespectful to all the amazing parents out there. Hopefully, you’ll reflect on your words, but if not, rest assured that there are plenty of people who would be ready to give you a piece of their mind. Thankfully, timing will save you from a confrontation, because the readers here are far too classy for that nonsense.
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Summary:
This article discusses the real meaning of “manning up” in parenting, emphasizing support for partners, healthy living, public affection, playtime, role modeling, perseverance, and genuine care for family. It critiques outdated views on gender roles in parenting, advocating for a more involved and loving approach to fatherhood.