I have a few important life lessons to share with you today—starting with the golden rule of not being a jerk. This means learning to share, showing kindness, practicing empathy, working hard, and a whole lot more. However, judging by the chaos in our home, I may have neglected one crucial point that fits under the “don’t be a jerk” category: Please, for the love of all that is sacred, put your things where they belong.
If you need a refresher course, here’s a breakdown of where everything should go. Believe it or not, there are designated spots for all that stuff scattered around! (Surprise!)
The Trash Can
I’m getting really tired of finding squished Go-Gurt wrappers hiding in the couch cushions. Our living room looks like we’re trying to create a new carpet made of granola bar foil. Those plastic wrappers from string cheese—sometimes with half-eaten cheese still in them—are not a decoration for your room (which, by the way, is not a dining area). Juice boxes, tape balls, paper scraps, gum, and all those random sticks and bottle caps you bring in from outside? They all belong in that rectangular container in our kitchen, which we commonly refer to as “the trash.”
The Dishwasher
It seems you might think dirty dishes magically return to the cabinet, all shiny and clean, without any effort. News flash: That fairy is actually called “Mom,” and she’s about to lose her patience! Seriously, the time I spend chasing down crusty bowls and rogue spoons could be used for something far more enjoyable. Thankfully, we have a fantastic machine in our kitchen that cleans your dirty dishes. Just open the door, pull out the rack, pop in the dish, and close the door. I know you remember complex video game combos, so this should be easy!
The Hamper
I know my decor choices may not be your favorite, but that tall bin in the laundry room and the smaller ones in every bedroom aren’t just there for decoration. Those are for your dirty clothes! I don’t want to find your socks in the bathroom, or trailing from your room to the shower, or anywhere else but inside the designated hampers.
The Closet
I understand that when a friend knocks and you need your shoes in a flash, it’s tempting to leave them wherever you drop them. But trust me, it takes only a few extra seconds to return them to their rightful place. Not to mention, it could save you time searching for them later—you know, the five minutes spent hunting down those shoes that you kicked off in your last fit of excitement.
The Toy Box
You know how grocery stores organize products on shelves? That’s because if everything were just thrown on the floor, total chaos would ensue—kind of like your room when you don’t put your toys back where they belong. You remember that box for your toys? It’s called the toy box, and it exists for a reason.
The Toilet
Now, let’s talk about where you should put the byproducts of your bodily functions. There’s a hole with water in it—please aim for that. And as for boogers? They don’t belong smeared on the wall, stuck to your mattress, or anywhere else except in a tissue. That’s why we keep plenty of tissues around!
By reminding you where everything goes, I’m aiming for a tidier home. Or at least one that doesn’t make me weep at the thought of a cleaner who isn’t me. Can I count on your help? Because remember, not being a jerk starts with respecting your mom.
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Summary: This post provides a humorous yet practical guide for kids on where to put their belongings around the house. It emphasizes the importance of cleaning up after themselves and the various receptacles designated for different items, all while maintaining a playful tone.