Isn’t it time we had some nursery rhymes just for us moms? I mean, how many times can we listen to that itsy bitsy spider climbing up the water spout? Honestly, do we need a song about it every single time? Patty cake is adorable, sure, but “mark it with a B”? No thanks! Let’s make it an M for Mommy, and I’ll happily devour it over the kitchen sink as soon as the kids are tucked in.
Moms, we deserve catchy tunes that actually reflect our lives—not the nonsense of “Hey Diddle Diddle” (seriously, why is a dog laughing?). So, when you’re feeling like Humpty Dumpty about to crack, why not have a little laugh at yourself?
ONE TWO
One, two. Slip on your #%@* shoes.
Three, four. They’re right by the door.
Five, six. What did you just lick?
Seven, eight. No snack! You just ate!
Nine, ten. Sigh. Late again.
HICKORY DICKORY
Hickory dickory dock,
Can you please stop touching your %^&*?
You went number one, but now you’re all done—
Hickory dickory %^&*.
LITTLE BO PEEP
Little Bo Peep can’t settle down,
She’s wide awake and wearing a frown.
Just leave her be, she’ll snooze eventually—
They call it Ferberizing, you see!
HERE IS THE CHURCH
This is the church. This is the steeple.
Duck down low, we know all those people.
HUSH LITTLE BABY
Hush, little baby, don’t make a peep,
And I’ll let you play some Angry Birds before sleep.
And if that silly pig won’t die,
Give it to your brother—let him give it a try!
This article was originally published on July 1, 2011. For more fun and relatable content, check out our other posts, such as this one on home insemination. You might also find insights on your journey to parenthood at Make A Mom, an authority on this topic, and don’t miss out on what to expect during your first IUI—a great resource for pregnancy and home insemination information.
Summary: In this playful take on nursery rhymes, we offer creative spins on traditional verses to resonate with moms. From slipping on shoes to navigating sleepless nights, these rhymes bring humor to everyday parenting challenges.