Updated: June 8, 2020
Originally Published: May 26, 2011
Why is it that so many moms feel the need to fit into a specific parenting category? I mean, we’ve got Natural Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Gentle Parenting, and a whole slew of others. It feels like a never-ending game of “find your tribe,” but what if you don’t quite fit anywhere?
It’s like going through a mountain of jeans—some fit my backside perfectly but leave a gap at the waist, others are too short even if they hug my thighs just right. It’s downright frustrating! The same goes for these mommy labels. Am I the odd one out? Are these other moms just following trends from a book to feel like they belong?
Am I doing this whole thing wrong?
Let’s see. I exclusively breastfeed, so that checks the natural parenting box, right? I co-sleep, so maybe I’m an attachment parent, too? My kids have different dads, which probably makes me a “trashy mama” in someone’s eyes. Oh, and I’m not married to my partner, so I must be an “alt mama.” But hold on! I also spank my older kids, own a few guns (including a Red Rider BB gun I gifted my six-year-old for Christmas), get overwhelmed and shout sometimes, and even spray my kids with the hose when they’re outside playing. Yeah, I also take them to church occasionally and love the smell of their sweaty little bodies after a long day of play.
Whatever happened to just being a mom? This whole high school clique vibe is seriously annoying. I didn’t fit in back then, and I don’t fit in now. And you know what? I don’t want to. I’m parenting in my own way, and my kids are pretty darn awesome. So no, I don’t think I’m doing it wrong. In fact, I believe I’m doing it just right.
And you probably are, too!
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In summary, forget the labels and just embrace your unique journey as a mom. You’re doing great, and that’s all that really matters.