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RELAXED DAD
The performance is finally starting! What’s this? The view is completely obstructed by screens! Seriously, folks, put down those phones and savor the show! Oh look, there’s my child. Just a few quick snaps – and maybe a little video – OK, just one more… Oh no, that’s not my kid! -
“MY KID IS A STAR” MOM
They handed my little one the microphone? Oh, what a mistake! She talks more than anyone I know, from sunrise to sunset – and even in her sleep! This is going to be a riot. Wait, she has the mic and… she’s just staring blankly at the crowd. Silent as a mouse. Seriously, what is happening? -
HOPEFUL MOM
This is going to be so cute! I adore kids! Musicals are the best! Well, um, that’s an interesting interpretation. Yes, there’s definitely effort involved… We’ve entered hour two, and now it’s hour three. Are we done yet? -
CRITICAL MOM
Oh please, that’s what you call singing? I can’t believe he’s the lead. Why is she dancing like that? Tsk! That kid can’t even remember his lines! Just wait till my little genius takes the stage! Here he is! Byron! Stand up! Say your line! Oh no, Byron! What are you doing? Stop licking that! -
BUSINESS-MINDED MOM
I’m selling a new interrogation technique called “Three Hours of Preschool Musicals on a Metal Folding Chair.” The FBI won’t know what hit them! They’ll beg for mercy, their eardrums will be shattered! -
MEMORY-MAKING MOM
Yes, yes! Please give me a program for the play! My child’s name is in it! I’ll cherish this forever! I’ll hold it close during the performance. Show’s over! Gently place it in the car for his memory box. Months later, it’s buried under crumbs and old gym socks. Clean out the car? Where’s the program? Note to self: do better next time! -
LACTOSE-INTOLERANT DAD
Why did I eat that ice cream? My stomach is in turmoil. Phew… so uncomfortable. If I let one out, it’ll echo through the auditorium! Someone on stage, please sing loud to cover me! -
ENDURANCE MOM
Thrilled that my kid landed a role in the middle school play of “Annie.” She’s “Background Orphan #9.” Not thrilled about the five performances I have to endure. If I hear “The Sun’ll Come Up Tomorrow” one more time, lunch might resurface. Why does Daddy Warbucks pick Annie every time? Let’s mix it up, folks! -
PROUD PAPA
Costume – $50
Dance lessons – $70
Watching your child twirl the wrong way and create total chaos on stage – UNFORGETTABLE. -
IMPRESSED MOM
Wow, look at these talented kids! That one on the right could be a future superstar! And the one in the middle? Broadway is calling! Oh, and that one on the left… a future accountant? Oh wait, that’s my kid!
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In summary, every school play is a melting pot of parents, each with their unique quirks and perspectives. From the relaxed dad to the proud papa, it’s all about support and a little chaos mixed in.