When it comes to photographing children, you can put them in the cutest outfits, ensure they’re well-lit, and wield the fanciest camera available. You might even have all sorts of creative props and stunning backdrops in mind, plus a repertoire of adorable poses you’ve seen online. Yet, getting a decent group photo of your kids often feels like an exercise in futility (and yes, I mean that literally!). There’s a reason professional photographers are highly sought after: capturing a bunch of energetic kids is about as effective as trying to herd cats. Unless you’re a seasoned pro, snapping photos of kids usually leads to a series of increasingly amusing mishaps that unfold like this:
Stage One: Hopefulness
You kick things off with high hopes. They look absolutely charming! Those outfits are on point, and their hair is perfection! This is going to be an Instagram masterpiece or potentially your new Facebook cover photo. You gather them together, arranging them artfully while ignoring the fact that their excitement is waning. You exude positivity, convinced it will rub off on them, and you can almost see those radiant smiles in your mind. They’re holding the pose! Yes! This will be the BEST PHOTO EVER.
Stage Two: Reality Sets In
You ask them to smile, and suddenly you’re met with that all-too-familiar “picture face.” You know the one—an exaggerated grin that resembles a startled deer. You attempt to encourage a more natural expression, but of course, that prompts one of them to adopt a droopy visage. Finally, they look somewhat normal, and you’re ready to snap the shot—except wait, your camera is out of focus. By the time you adjust settings (and maybe mutter a few choice words), someone has either a) jumped up, b) started a mini-brawl, or c) decided to gaze at anything but the camera. Their patience is waning, and as soon as you position one kid, another pops up like a whack-a-mole!
Stage Three: Desperation
The atmosphere is thick with impatience—yours, especially. Your voice takes on that desperate edge as you plead things like…
- Smile! SMILE! SMIIII-LE.
- Get in closer! … CLOSER! (usually accompanied by wild arm waving)
- He’s supposed to be touching you!
- No, your sibling doesn’t smell bad!
- Come on, folks. Look right here.
- Look at me. LOOK AT ME.
- Stop making that face!
- Stop pinching!
- Stop looking so disgusted!
- Seriously, just let me snap a picture. Please.
- We could’ve finished this ages ago if you would just stand there, smile like a normal human, and glance at the camera for two seconds! Can we PLEASE! JUST! GET! A PICTURE?!
Stage Four: Defeat
Your dreams of that picture-perfect shot are fading fast, and now you’re just on a quest for a photo where everyone’s eyes are at least pointed in the right direction and no one seems tipsy. The cute poses? Forget it. You’re now just trying to get them all crammed together enough to fit into the frame. Instead of saying “cheese,” they ask if they can shout “buttholes,” and you’re too exhausted to care—at least it gets some genuine smiles. You fire off a million shots in quick succession, hoping that one might turn out decent. Finally, you declare the session over, at which point they scatter like leaves in the wind.
As you sift through the camera roll, deleting the blurry and undesirable shots, you find that the best photo you managed to capture looks like this. Yet, after all the hassle, you decide it’s worth posting anyway. You can always caption it, “LOVE capturing these candid moments with the kids!” for added charm.
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Summary
Photographing kids can feel like a frantic rollercoaster ride through stages of hope, reality, desperation, and eventually, defeat. Despite the chaos and challenges, it’s all part of the adventure of capturing those fleeting moments.