35 Triumphs from My First Year of Motherhood

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As we all know, the first birthday is less about the child and more about the parents, and it’s probably wise to schedule the celebration during nap time. This milestone isn’t just any birthday; it’s a tribute to survival. Surviving those moments when you genuinely feared you might neglect your newborn because you forgot to set the alarm for the next feeding, which only allowed you a brief 32-minute nap after an hour of feeding, another hour of getting your baby to sleep, and then 28 minutes trying to doze off yourself. Surviving attempts to make lunch plans with friends, only to spend 25 minutes packing the diaper bag, 50 minutes feeding and changing the baby, and bundling him up, only for him to poop right before getting in the car. Yes, surviving all of that.

As my little one approaches his first birthday this week, I’m reflecting on my achievements as a new mom. Here’s why I’m celebrating… me:

1. I managed to spend 12 hours a day alone with a newborn and two napping cats.
2. I became proficient at typing on my phone while breastfeeding. (Even more impressive in the dark.)
3. By week three, I no longer cared that my nipple had been seen by every waiter and bartender in the area.
4. I only shed tears for 5 minutes when I forgot to wear breast pads and leaked all over a store.
5. My son has never ingested anything foreign that required a trip to the ER.
6. I limited my late-night Amazon shopping sprees to twice a week.
7. I learned how to prepare baby food without causing any harm.
8. I occasionally bought non-organic food and still didn’t poison him.
9. I attended “a few” baby yoga classes purely for the free childcare.
10. I only fell asleep while nursing every other night (and somehow, never dropped him).
11. My son has only accidentally peed on my face twice.
12. He has never pooped in the bathtub.
13. My son face-planted into the iPad screen just once during our binge of “Orange is the New Black.”
14. I accepted that poop explosions and laundry have replaced my girls’ nights filled with wine and cheese.
15. It took me seven attempts to master the Bjorn carrier.
16. We only had one incident of projectile vomiting.
17. I cried only once to the cashier at Target.
18. I didn’t forget I had a baby and leave him behind somewhere.
19. I only wore mismatched shoes to work once.
20. My husband and I are still together (even though I thought about divorce a few times).
21. My son has never ingested cat litter.
22. He has never eaten dog poop.
23. I accepted that I have a wardrobe filled with clothes that may never fit again.
24. I smiled and pretended it was adorable when my son was the only kid shrieking in Gymboree class.
25. I panicked only a few times and called my doctor while Googling “why isn’t my child crawling?” when he didn’t start until 11 months.
26. My son didn’t fall through the bucket swing.
27. He only bit another child once.
28. He never choked, or figured out how to cough it up before it became serious.
29. I went to the beach and only burned myself, not the baby.
30. I didn’t lose my job, even after spending the last three weeks planning his birthday party at work.
31. I didn’t smother my husband in his sleep, despite him sleeping through our son’s 3am cries.
32. I didn’t smother him the following morning when he said, “The baby was up last night? I didn’t hear anything!”
33. I refrained from snapping at anyone who inquired about my son’s crawling when he wasn’t yet.
34. My son has never fallen off the changing table, even without the buckle (do people even use that?).
35. I’ve accepted that my saggy boobs and gray hair are a fair price for my adorable son.

So here’s to my first year of motherhood! If you’re also navigating this challenging yet rewarding journey, check out this insightful post on home insemination resources. For those looking for at-home insemination kits, I recommend Cryobaby’s syringe kit combo for reliable options. For further information about pregnancy, you can explore Healthline’s comprehensive guide.

In summary, the first year of motherhood brings countless challenges and triumphs. While it may not always be smooth sailing, the joys—and occasional chaos—make it all worthwhile. Here’s to embracing every moment!