Ah, the moment your little one realizes, “Wow, I have hands! Look at them! They’re amazing! I could stare at them all day! And guess what? They fit in my mouth!” So adorable!
Then comes the moment when they discover their anatomy. “Hey, check out my penis! It can even grow!” Not quite as cute, but undeniably hilarious.
My kids are experiencing quite a revelation—not the type found in literature, but a true awakening to their own bodies. They’re aware they have genitalia, will soon develop breasts, and, yes, will have hair down there. It’s a scene straight out of Kindergarten Cop when the little boy proudly shares that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. Double-check, indeed!
And let’s not forget their unabashed comfort with nudity, which often crosses the line of appropriateness—regardless of the setting or audience. My son struts around in just a shirt, reminiscent of Donald Sutherland in Animal House, minus the college coed. Either he can’t find his underwear or he’s wearing it on his head, or perhaps it’s on backward, giving him a cheeky thong style.
“Penis this, penis that!” It’s become his favorite bath toy, and he’s even coined terms like “penis tricks” and “sword.” How many times can I say, “Stop playing with your penis! It’s not a toy”? His cheeky grin suggests he thinks I’m joking.
His little Oedipal complex is in full swing as he playfully explores, often leading to the startling moment where he suddenly reaches down my shirt while we’re enjoying a book together. “I love you so much, more than Daddy. I’m going to marry you.” Oh, the joys of parenthood!
Meanwhile, my daughter has become aware that females have “breasteses,” and she loves to illustrate this in her art. Every female gets depicted with ample bosoms, and let’s just say my last drawing gave me a bit of a confidence boost! I mean, it’s a big upgrade from my usual training bra vibe. Of course, I sometimes feel a twinge of jealousy when her drawings show her with larger breasts than mine.
Carly is determined to be Wonder Woman for Halloween next year, worrying that no one will recognize her without breasts. To her credit, Lynda Carter’s outfit certainly left little to the imagination! I reassured her that no one would mistake her identity, but she’s already pondering stuffing socks in her shirt just in case.
The other day at Target, we strolled through the feminine products aisle. She skipped ahead, grabbed a box, and announced to a random lady, “I get to use these when I’m older—like, maybe when I’m eight!” I had to chuckle. “Sweetheart, they’re not popsicles!”
She’s also eager to start shaving, fretting about “fur,” and even suggested we pluck her brother’s eyebrows. The questions just keep coming.
And don’t get me started on “Naked Time.” That phrase has become synonymous with their lives. It could be frigid outside, but that won’t stop them from stripping down for an impromptu dance party. They coined the term long before they ever heard Dana Carvey’s stand-up routine!
It’s tough to keep a straight face amid their innocent curiosity about bodies. While it’s completely normal, teaching them about social boundaries can be a challenge. We certainly don’t want to embarrass them for asking questions, but we also don’t want them blurting out, “I’m going to get my period someday!” in public. My daughter associates breasts with women, but we haven’t even begun to dive into the deeper topics of anatomy and social norms.
They’re just trying to understand their bodies, and we must guide them through these social intricacies while maintaining our composure. After all, stripping at a church luncheon isn’t the best approach to life lessons, is it?
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Summary
The journey of body discovery for children can be both amusing and challenging for parents. As kids explore their anatomy and express their newfound knowledge, parents must navigate the delicate balance of fostering curiosity while teaching appropriate social boundaries. From innocent questions to enthusiastic proclamations, the path of understanding their bodies is filled with laughter, learning moments, and the occasional awkward situation.