Parenting Chronicles with Tessa Lane
Updated: Jan. 28, 2023
Originally Published: Feb. 19, 2011
Last weekend, I found myself in a situation I never thought I’d be in: I was pleading with my fourteen-year-old son, Jake, to invite some friends over.
After several years of chaotic gatherings where my house was nearly turned into a playground for hyperactive boys—complete with broken lamps, damaged wall decor, and a window escape or two—I thought I’d successfully navigated the end of those chaotic days. But when I noticed Jake becoming a hermit, spending entire weekends in his room, clad in pajamas and glued to his gaming console, I knew it was time to step in.
Me: “Hey Jake, how about having some friends over for your birthday? We could order some pizzas and watch a movie together!”
Jake: “Nah.”
Me: “Why not?”
Jake: “Cuz…”
Ah yes, the classic teenage conversation—short and to the point. We tried bringing up the idea of “face time,” emphasizing that seeing real faces (not just avatars) could be more fun. We talked about the joy of real adventures in the great outdoors, where imagination runs wild and the graphics are way better. But he wasn’t having it. Not a chance.
Honestly, if I were a kid today, I’d love having instant access to my friends from the comfort of my own room without the hassle of sharing physical space. Back in my day, the phone time I got was limited to the long cord stretched from my mom’s room, and I had to make do with that!
I realize I’m a bit of a hypocrite. Just the other night, I was nestled in my own room, cocktail in hand, engaged in a lively video chat with fellow bloggers. My two boys popped their heads in, looking utterly baffled.
Jake: “Mom, what are you doing?”
Me: “Video chatting! Come check it out!”
Jake: “Old people. Get a life, Mom.”
Me: “Excuse me? I have a life! What’s on your social calendar, Mr. Smarty Pants?”
From my cozy spot in pajamas, I took virtual strolls through Singapore, dropped into a Ruby Tuesdays in Minnesota, and even toured a house in Texas—all while chatting with friends from England, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and Hawaii. Cocktails included, of course!
Surprisingly, Jake kept sneaking back to peek at my laptop, and before long, both boys were sitting beside me, introducing themselves to my online buddies. Go figure!
Anyway, this weekend, Jake announced he was going to a friend’s house to collaborate on a school project—with actual kids! Five of them!
Jake: “I might not be home for dinner.”
Me: “Perfect! Go have fun!”
And just like that, I was free to focus on my next video chat.
For more tips on getting boys away from screens, check out this post on Home Insemination Kit. It’s a great resource for parents juggling technology and social interactions. If you’re interested in exploring options for family building, you can also visit this excellent resource.
Summary:
In this humorous reflection on parenting, Tessa Lane shares her experience of urging her teenage son, Jake, to socialize with friends instead of spending all his time indoors gaming. Despite the challenges of connecting with a teenager, she finds humor in their interactions while also acknowledging her own reliance on technology for socializing. Ultimately, she celebrates Jake’s decision to engage with peers and reflects on the contrast between past and present social experiences.