I’m fortunate to have three amazing friends from college who live close by and welcomed their little ones around the same time I did. Three of us had our babies the same week (one was even checking out of the hospital just two doors down when I checked in), while the fourth joined the crew a few weeks later. We ended up with two girls and two boys.
Our babies entered the world in unique ways and sizes, showcasing a delightful variety of skills and interests. They hit their milestones at different times, and what works wonders for one often flops for the others. We’re a mixed bag: some of us work full-time, some are stay-at-home moms, and a few juggle part-time gigs. Regardless of our schedules, we’re all dedicated moms.
Our breastfeeding journeys are just as diverse—some of us want to nurse forever, while others are done with it. A couple of us have enough pumped milk to feed a small army, while others have never touched formula. Our babies have their own routines too: some sleep through the night, while others wake up every few hours; some enjoy purees, while others dive into whole veggies like little food critics. They can crawl, scoot, stand, and some have even mastered the art of “walrus rolling.”
They communicate in their own ways—some say real words, while others babble nonsensically, scream, giggle, or even snort. We have our own sleep rituals: rocking them to sleep, letting them cry it out, or rushing to their sides at the faintest whimper. Their little bodies vary, too—short, long, lean, chubby, with thunder thighs, chicken legs, adorable chubby cheeks, and bubble butts. And guess what? They’re all perfect in their own right.
After nine months of motherhood, the most important lesson I’ve learned is that your baby is nothing like mine. What works for your little one might not work for mine. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear all about your experiences—especially when you’re feeling blue and need support, or when you’re bursting with pride and want to share. But comparing babies? Totally pointless and, let’s be honest, just annoying. These three incredible women have been my support system ever since we realized that truth.
Even though we hadn’t connected since our college days, we needed each other more than ever. We chat daily, whether it’s to seek advice during a 4 AM feeding or to celebrate a new milestone. Our conversations cover everything from our little ones to our own bodies, sanity (or lack thereof), and all the messy details in between. The biggest takeaway from these friendships? No two babies are alike, and neither are pregnancies, deliveries, partners, or lives. Sure, there are similarities, and sometimes one mom’s wisdom has saved my sanity. But often, it’s just comforting to know that we’re in this together—that I’m not the only one who feels completely lost at times.
And let’s not forget that one judgmental mom down the street who offers unsolicited “advice” when you’re just trying to catch a nap, wash your hair, or clean up the baby poop that somehow ended up on the wall. No one needs that negativity!
So instead of listing out all the genius, one-size-fits-all advice I’ve gathered in these nine months, let me share the single most crucial piece of wisdom: Find a friend (or two or three) just like mine. Someone who knows when to offer advice and when to simply listen. A buddy who understands what you’re going through and needs your support too. No judgment, no competition, and certainly no comparing who has the cutest or smartest baby—because spoiler alert: every mom believes hers is the best, and you’ll never change her mind, even if your tot is walking and talking at six months.
That’s all there is to it. A huge shoutout to these three wonderful ladies (you know who you are) and all my other supportive friends and family. You are what makes motherhood worthwhile.
If you’re interested in more helpful information on this topic, check out this post. And if you’re exploring fertility options, this resource is a great place to start. For those considering IVF, Healthline offers excellent insights into the process.
Summary:
In the journey of motherhood, finding supportive friends who understand your unique experiences is essential. Each baby is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Connecting with fellow moms fosters a sense of community, helping to navigate the ups and downs of parenting without judgment or comparison.