If you find yourself surrounded by boys on the brink of adulthood, grab a seat because I have some crucial wisdom to share. Here’s what I want my teenage sons to absorb… if they ever tune in.
- Good friends are a treasure. Being a good friend is a necessity.
- Ladies have an incredible sense of smell—just think about it.
- Trying to cover up your mistakes reveals a weak character. True men own their faults, apologize, and work to make amends.
- Avoid sending photos of your private parts. Trust me, it could end up on your grandmother’s Facebook, and no one wants that.
- You are not defined by what you eat, drive, or where you live. You are simply you. If you’re feeling off, changing your diet or car won’t fix the core issue.
- Cleanliness is attractive. Kindness is attractive. Being excessively drunk? Not so much.
- Video games might not turn you violent, but they won’t make you a better son, student, or friend either. Play wisely.
- Sleep won’t fix every problem, but lack of it will create new ones.
- Make NYTimes.com your homepage across all devices. It’ll boost your smarts.
- Junk food is a teenage staple, but your body will crave real food by your twenties. Nourish it right.
- Sports can bring happiness and health. Keep them part of your life.
- Choosing a partner is the most significant decision of your life; don’t let your emotions drown out your logic.
- If you’re questioning whether a trendy outfit suits you, it probably doesn’t.
- Skimping on a decent haircut will lead to instant regret.
- Cherish your girlfriends and female friends who care for you but won’t sleep with you; they’ll be incredibly important in your life.
- Your siblings are irreplaceable. They’ll be your longest friendships and the only ones who remember your childhood.
- If you feel your parents would disapprove of your actions, take a moment to think it through and ensure you’ve answered their potential questions. Then, trust your judgment.
- Your twenties are the ideal time to explore your risk tolerance. Embrace the opportunities.
- Invest in quality shampoo and deodorant; it’s worth the extra bucks.
- Own two crisp white shirts; you never know when you’ll need to impress at a job interview or meet your girlfriend’s parents.
- Stock up on underwear; it’ll dictate your laundry schedule.
- If you sleep with someone, reach out the next day, even if it’s just a silly emoji. And if you consider pretending you don’t know her, imagine my face.
- Thoughtful gifts for special occasions go a long way. If she’s disappointed by the amount spent, it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
- Aim to be the kind of boss, teacher, parent, and friend you admire or wish you had.
- Finish what you start—this applies to toothpaste, meals, and commitments.
- Your word is your bond; anyone who says differently has proven my point.
- Technology won’t bring you happiness; it’s the connections you make that will. Don’t mix them up.
- If someone tries to change you, run—unless it’s about hygiene, exercise, or diet, then listen closely.
- Your manners reflect who you are and how others view your parents. Don’t embarrass us.
- Life is full of disappointments. People will let you down, and you might disappoint yourself. That’s where parents come in—to help you navigate those tough times.
- Piercings may seem cool now, but they’ll fade away—if they haven’t already.
- Aspirin, water, and black coffee are magical cures.
- When shopping with a woman, don’t say she looks great in everything; it’ll ruin your credibility. Instead, tell her what truly flatters her—she’ll appreciate it.
- If your friends are rude, it won’t be long before you are too. Choose wisely.
- Treat your parents kindly; you’ll miss them when you realize you can’t afford your own ski trip.
- Respond to your mom’s texts quickly, or be prepared to cover your own phone bill.
- Quality beats quantity with shoes and suits every time.
- Toothbrushes have a lifespan—don’t forget to replace them.
- Learn to swing a golf club, shoot pool, and cast a fishing rod; these skills will serve you well.
- Never use your size to bully anyone, unless it’s in a sports context. If so, I’ll send you back to the cave.
- Drugs will dull your mind, drain your wallet, attract unsavory people, and could land you in legal trouble. Got it?
- Smile in pictures and show your best side; you never know where that photo may end up.
- If you get a rash, cut, or burn, send a picture to your mom. Moms are great at diagnosing—even from afar.
- When returning home for a home-cooked meal, bring a positive attitude. It’s not your right, it’s a privilege.
- Call your parents just to chat—it’s always a good thing.
- If you only share the good stuff, no one will truly know you.
- Don’t assume anything about someone else’s wealth, health, or happiness; we’re often wrong.
- Put the toilet seat down; just do it—no debates needed.
- Your girlfriend or wife might be your best friend, but living with her will be different than with your other buddies, so act accordingly.
- The Internet is permanent. Remember that every time you hit send.
- If you think you’re ready for kids but aren’t sure, start with a dog.
- No one is ever fully prepared to be a parent—it’s always a leap of faith.
- It’s wise to have kids close to at least one grandparent; emergencies are common in parenthood.
- Never attend a dinner or weekend trip empty-handed; house gifts are always appreciated.
- Soon, you’ll be in a position to help those younger than you. Be generous with your support.
- Acknowledge that your upbringing shapes who you are; show gratitude to your teachers and schools.
- Check your mail! It might seem old-fashioned, but some letters need your attention. Letting it pile up leads to nasty surprises.
- Be the person others seek out for support. Those in pain look for souls with kind hearts.
Some moms dream of daughters and mourn the girls they never had. Thanks to you, I’ve never been one of them.
For more insights, check out this post on home insemination. If you’re curious about starting a family, consider visiting the Baby Maker for excellent resources. Also, the CDC has great information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This piece offers essential lessons for teenage sons, covering friendship, respect, relationships, personal growth, and responsibility. It emphasizes the importance of character, communication, and making wise choices, all while maintaining a lighthearted tone.