A while back, I found myself in a conversation with a friend about the daily grind of our lives. I was navigating the waters of stay-at-home motherhood while he held a lofty position at a trendy advertising agency—something grand like “Chief of Creative Collaborative Branding.” Curious, I asked him what that really meant.
“I manage creative collaborative branding,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“Okay, but what does that look like for you from 9 to 5?” I probed, as if he were a child.
“I send emails,” he replied.
“And you?” he asked.
“I wipe things,” I responded.
Motherhood comes with many labels: homemaker, domestic engineer, working mom, stay-at-home mom, and so forth. No matter how we slice it, when you break down the actual duties involved, it often boils down to a lot of wiping.
To be fair, it’s not just wiping. I also do my fair share of scrubbing, folding, and sweeping. But let’s be honest—if we really looked at my daily to-do list, the most accurate title for my role would be “cleaning lady.”
And therein lies the issue: cleaning isn’t my favorite pastime. I’m not a fan of chores that require endless repetition, like doing dishes or laundry. It’s exhausting! Sometimes, while showering, I find myself thinking, “Didn’t I just do this yesterday?”
When you welcome a new baby into your life, many things come as a surprise: the pain of childbirth, the high cost of childcare, and the unsolicited advice on how to dress your baby even when it’s warm outside. But what truly took me aback was the sheer volume of cleaning that skyrockets. I’d say it multiplies tenfold, but I’m not sure what that word is. Dectuple?
Before kids, my husband and I kept things simple: we washed a few plates each night and vacuumed occasionally. But once children enter the picture, a simple meal feels like a tornado hit the kitchen. After breakfast, it looks like a toast war zone, with crumbs everywhere and jam splatters on the ceiling fan. We go through what feels like an infinite number of plates, cutting boards, and utensils for each meal, and it seems that no amount of sweeping can keep the grit off the floor.
The dishes are like a never-ending conveyor belt. In the early days of being a stay-at-home mom, I’d joke with my husband about how Sisyphus had a wife: Dishyphus, who was stuck at home battling stubborn egg residue while he was out rolling his rock. This would often end with me in tears, prompting my husband to wisely suggest we rethink how we share household responsibilities.
Even with both of us pitching in, cleaning feels like an endless task. It occupies our entire day as we try to keep up with the chaos. One child decides to cut tiny bits of paper that are too small to collect by hand but too large for the vacuum. Another leaves a trail of muddy handprints after washing up. And let’s not even discuss the nighttime adventures that lead to unexpected messes!
By the end of the day, my husband, too tired to wash the dishes, will shove a pan of leftover pasta sauce in the fridge, knowing full well it will become a science experiment. Coats and shoes form a disorganized pathway from the front door through the hallway, and I’ve resigned myself to kicking them out of the way instead of reminding the kids to tidy up.
When new mothers leave the hospital, they should be given microfiber cloths and paper towels alongside the usual baby essentials. Along with classes on breastfeeding and bathing infants, a cleaning tutorial would be invaluable. They should say, “Get ready! Diaper changes and nursing won’t last forever, but wiping things? That’s here to stay.”
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In summary, navigating motherhood often feels like a never-ending cleaning spree. It’s a title few prepare for, and even fewer talk about. So, here’s to all the mothers out there who are scrubbing, wiping, and cleaning while juggling everything else!