Updated: May 22, 2020
Originally Published: Sep. 27, 2010
According to a recent (totally fictitious) study I concocted, the number one reason for divorce in this country? You guessed it: CASH. The almighty dollar. Dough. Bucks. Greenbacks. Family finances. It’s no surprise that we have more slang for money than we do for romance. Why? Because money is at the core of everything we do. While some might argue that romance is on the brain every 2.7 seconds, it turns out both partners are often consumed by thoughts of finances.
One partner might daydream, thinking, “If I stash away x amount of bucks each day, I’ll be able to conquer the world!” Meanwhile, the other partner is pondering, “How can I ensure my family eats healthy while still having enough in the budget for little Max’s drum lessons and the extra phones for the twins now that they’re learning to drive?”
It’s common to see one spouse clinging to every dollar while the other sees the need to spend it—now, not in the year 2065. How do we reconcile these different financial philosophies? The last thing we want is to end up in the dreaded divorce court over money squabbles.
Do we have to trudge around in worn-out, thrift store jeans to satisfy the other’s financial aspirations? Or should we be strutting down the street in outfits that even Hollywood stars would envy?
What I’ve discovered that has brought harmony to our marital finances—despite my initial shock at the concept—is the family budget. Yes, that term might conjure images of shackles and a life devoid of joy, but hear me out! The family budget is where we define our priorities as a unit and work together toward shared goals. You can joyfully map out your family’s dreams and take steps to achieve them. It’s about aligning your values and choices to stay within your budget.
Take the daily coffee ritual, for instance. Is that $4.50 latte worth it? It seems harmless enough, right? But when you multiply that by thirty days, you’re looking at $135 a month. And at the end of the year? That’s a staggering $1,620! A budget helps you weigh decisions like whether to indulge in that latte or save for a family adventure or home improvement project.
So, before any purchase, try this little mental exercise: envision the item you’re contemplating alongside your family’s big goals. Ask yourself, “Do I want that latte or a family trip to the beach?”
And that’s the beauty of a budget! It transforms the ‘no’ into a ‘yes’ for something more meaningful.
At the end of the day, I’ve learned to listen to my partner about budgets, and instead of tuning him out when we talk bills, I’m working alongside him. After all, a penny saved is a penny earned.
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Summary:
Money is often the leading cause of friction in relationships. Understanding and aligning financial priorities through a family budget can foster better communication and shared dreams. By evaluating everyday spending against larger family goals, couples can strengthen their financial union and avoid misunderstandings.