Updated: August 18, 2015
Originally Published: September 13, 2010
Two kids and a dog refer to me as “dad” most of the time. Well, the dog doesn’t actually say anything that I can decipher—just barks, wags his tail, and nudges his water bowl in my direction.
Now, my two kids? They call me all sorts of things aside from dad. Sometimes I’m “abba,” which is Hebrew for father, or simply “daddy.” My daughter, a little dark-haired troublemaker, occasionally calls me “da-da” while flashing a cheeky grin. Naturally, I can’t resist scooping her up for a bear hug and playfully warning her that I won’t fall for that grin.
She giggles and claims she has no idea what I mean, and then she gives me that same mischievous smile back. It’s the kind of smile that drives my friends and family up the wall, leaving them to speculate about my next prank. I adore it—it brings out that inner child in me.
That smile is also the reason I involuntarily check my pockets to make sure my wallet is still there. You just know that any second, my phone will ring with an irate parent on the other end.
Honestly, writing about my parenting journey is a lot more fun when I focus on myself, “Good Old Jamie,” instead of involving my daughter. That’s because, as a parent, I can’t help but stress over my kids. If you want to know my biggest fear, here it is—I sometimes worry that they’ll turn out just like me.
Yes, it terrifies me that they might be as clueless as I was. I fret that they’ll get bored in school due to a lack of challenges, leading to bad study habits. I worry they’ll figure out the shortcuts to get things done faster and try to exploit them.
I’m anxious they’ll think they can charm their way out of any trouble and might decide it’s a good idea to jump off the roof into the pool. My daughter, who’s already as tough as nails, might insist on proving she can do everything her brother can do.
Some of my worries are a bit silly—like thinking about her dating at just six years old. But I can’t help it. She’s got a crush on boys, and I know how boys can be. I’m aware of all the clever ways they can make girls feel special, even when they don’t really mean it. I fear my daughter will end up with a bruised heart.
So, I’ve told her older brother, Max, to prepare himself. I’m contemplating sending him to a Tibetan monastery for some serious self-defense training. By the time he returns, he’ll be a peaceful boy who just happens to know 1,983 ways to protect his little sister.
I can’t always be there to shield her, so I might as well leverage Max’s newfound skills. Speaking of skills, I wonder if those monks will help him study for his upcoming Torah portion. Sure, he has a few years until his Bar Mitzvah, but planning ahead never hurts.
Now, I just need to convince their mother that there’s a fantastic boarding school out there offering an education he can’t get at home. Let me tell you, that will be one of my greatest sales pitches ever.
Mom is sharp, so I’m not entirely sure how to pull it off. I briefly thought about trying to convince her he’s headed to Hogwarts, but I’m not sure my wand works that way. Maybe I should just drop that idea.
Then there’s the challenge of explaining to my little girl that her hero brother will be away for a bit. That’s going to be tricky since, in her eyes, he can do no wrong.
In reality, if he eventually figures out that girls aren’t just gross and annoying, he might even date one or two. And if any of them break his heart, I can already see his little sister plotting her revenge. Once, she nearly had a meltdown when I told Max to turn down the volume on his gaming device. The beeping and whistling drove me nuts too!
But there she was, marching over to me, wiggling her little finger in my face, and I had to stifle a grin. I couldn’t let her see how proud I was of her for sticking up for her brother. These kids might drive me to lose my hair with their antics, but they do a commendable job of looking out for each other.
I guess we’re doing something right in how we’re raising them.
This article was originally published on September 13, 2010.
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Summary
This lighthearted parenting reflection captures the joys and worries of raising two kids and a dog. The author, Jamie, navigates the challenges of ensuring his children grow up well, fearing they’ll inherit his less-than-stellar traits. Despite the chaos, Jamie finds humor in their antics and cherishes their sibling bond.