When I hear parents of little ones lamenting how their kids rise with the sun and dream of the day when they can sneak in a few extra hours of sleep, I can totally relate. But I always caution them not to rush that time, because the sweet giggles of toddlers at dawn are far more pleasant than the moody grunts of teens who resemble sleepy vampires.
Back in the day, when my boys were tots, they too were early risers. Thankfully, they didn’t insist on doing cartwheels the moment they woke up, which was a lifesaver since I often found myself burning the midnight oil. Still, the clock would strike 6 a.m. far too soon. To help ease us into the day, I turned to classics like Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. Of course, there were also some questionable video gifts from my mother-in-law like SpongeBob SquarePants and Yu-Gi-Oh! — shows I once swore I’d avoid, but ended up chuckling over with my boys. On those rare mornings when they overslept, my first instinct was to tiptoe into their room to ensure they were still breathing.
Fast forward a few years, and those rambunctious kids transformed into teenagers who preferred to sleep in. The only part of the morning routine that remained the same was my anxious check to make sure they were still alive. Now, I consider myself a seasoned pro at waking a sleeping teen. Here’s what I’ve discovered:
Avoid This:
- Taking Away Privileges: Sure, when you’re frustrated, it’s tempting to assert your authority. But remember, your teen phase lasts for at least seven years. Soon enough, they’ll just roll their eyes and mutter “whatever,” and you might find yourself doing the same.
- Buying Fancy Alarms: Trust me, they’ll easily tune those out and incorporate them into their dream worlds. I’ve tried every quirky alarm imaginable — from rooster sounds to movie quotes — and none have worked.
- Sending In the Dog: This strategy often backfires. Instead of waking them up, the dog will bring joy, coziness, and a quick return to dreamland.
Try This Instead:
- Cook Some Bacon: Quietly open their door, head to the kitchen, and start frying bacon. You won’t need to say a word; the smell will do all the talking.
- Annoy Them: This is surprisingly easy! Just raise the blinds, flip the lights on, or chirp a cheerful “Good morning!” If you’re on a different floor, holler their name down the stairs. Their response will likely be a grumpy “WHAT?” or an insincere “I’M UP!” which we all know isn’t true since they’re still in bed.
- Text Them: Don’t ask me why they’ll hear a text notification when they won’t budge for alarms, but it works. Just make sure to sweeten the deal with an offer to take them for Subway — it’s a surefire way to lure them from their slumber.
- Use Cartoons as a Last Resort: When all else fails, turn on some cartoons. They might just miss those childhood shows and find themselves drawn to the screen, slowing down the morning chaos.
In conclusion, waking a teenager requires creativity and a touch of humor. Remember to keep your expectations in check — your teen will rise, but possibly not with a smile!
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