Ah, the thrill of hearing a child’s first words! It’s a huge milestone that stirs excitement in parents everywhere. We dedicate countless hours to coaxing our little ones to express themselves, teaching them to articulate sounds clearly and labeling everything in their surroundings. We count each new word with pride, eagerly awaiting those two- and three-word phrases, and ultimately, the grand achievement of complete sentences.
But wait—are we missing the mark here? Shouldn’t we be doing the opposite and trying to discourage them from talking for as long as possible? After all, fresh talkers can be quite the handful—social liabilities, if you will. It’s like living with a walking, talking liability insurance policy.
Let’s face it, the anxiety of public interactions raises when toddlers start to mimic everything we say. Suddenly, we must monitor our language and carefully choose our words, stifling any opinionated comments or colorful language. I mean, I was raised on the East Coast, and asking me to exercise verbal restraint feels like requesting a complete personality overhaul. Honestly, reigning in my colorful vocabulary feels as impossible as pledging to become a lifelong vegetarian—especially when you’re stuck in Seattle traffic!
But the stakes are high. If we slip up and complain about Aunt Betty, you can bet your little one will announce, “Mommy doesn’t like Aunt Betty!” as soon as she arrives. And if you casually let a curse word slip, don’t be shocked when your kid greets their pre-school class with a cheerful, “Hi, F*ckers!”
As for privacy? Forget it! Our once-quiet lives are now an open book. It’s like signing up for a reality show where every detail—down to what you eat or how you sleep—is public knowledge. We share these bits about our toddlers with strangers, so fair’s fair, right?
This newfound ability to communicate comes with a side of curiosity. Kids begin to ask questions about everything they encounter, and trust me, nothing good comes from a toddler questioning the secretary at school about why her rear end seems to be in the front. Or how about when they shout, “Mommy, why does that man only have one leg?” while you’re trying to enjoy a leisurely day at the lake?
And let’s not forget those awkward moments when the dinner guest is androgynous, and your child asks loudly, “Mommy, why do you keep calling her SHE when HE is a boy?” You’ll probably find yourself reaching for another glass of wine to navigate that minefield.
You can often sense the impending embarrassment from a mile away, yet there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. You’ll be shopping, and your child will set their sights on the one person you wish they wouldn’t notice. No amount of distraction can compete with their curiosity. Trust me, it’s the one time they won’t want a juice box!
Here are just a few of the unforgettable comments my children have made in public:
- “Mommy, I found hair in my food!” at a friend’s place.
- “What are all those lines on your face?” to our older babysitter.
- “Do you have a baby in your tummy?” to my dad.
- “Your breath is stinky!” to me, in front of a crowd after my morning coffee.
- “She has a big tushy.” to a woman at the grocery store.
- “Why does he have chocolate all over his skin?” to my Black friend at the gym.
- “Your house smells disgusting!” during a playdate.
- “Because my mom will just throw it out,” to his Hebrew School teacher regarding a project.
See what I mean? Maybe we should take a step back and reconsider our encouragement of their vocal skills—after all, they’ll find their voices soon enough.
For more insights on parenting and the challenges that come with it, check out our other blog posts, including one on the nuances of home insemination kits at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re interested in artificial insemination, Cryobaby offers some great resources. Also, for a deeper understanding of infertility, the CDC provides excellent information.
In Summary:
Teaching kids to talk can lead to unexpected challenges, including embarrassing moments and a loss of privacy. The joy of their first words comes with a hefty dose of parental anxiety, prompting us to wonder if we should really be encouraging this newfound skill.