I was over the moon when my daughter, the ever-charming Lily, graduated from high school this spring. Finally, I thought, the drama was behind us… or so I believed.
This summer, she’s been home more often than not, juggling a few shifts at her movie theater job. I know that once August 22nd rolls around and we drop her off with her things in Burlington, Vermont, I’ll feel a pang of sadness. But right now? Not so much.
Currently, I’m dealing with a constant stream of requests for egg salad sandwiches and mall outings. Somehow, she can never locate a beach towel (or any towel, for that matter) when she needs one. And let’s not even discuss the mystery of her favorite sandals. Fingers crossed her new roommates can keep better track of her stuff than I can! I also hope they know how to boil an egg—seriously, is there a section for these skills on roommate matching forms? Probably not.
I guess this is part of the reason students head off to college. Alongside the academic challenges, I imagine mastering the art of keeping track of personal belongings and whipping up a sandwich will be as essential as organic chemistry on her college journey.
Knowing Lily, though, she’ll likely surround herself with friends who will do these tasks for her. She has a natural talent for gathering supporters. For 18 years, I’ve been one of them, and honestly, I can’t wait for August 22nd.
It’s like a release date—freedom from the daily grind of motherhood. Seriously, it feels a bit like escaping from a mental institution.
Don’t get me wrong; I’ve made every effort to teach my daughter to be self-sufficient. She knows her bank balance down to the cent, can shower and dress herself, and is always punctual. She’s got that from me.
However, unlike me, but just like her father, she struggles to make appointments—whether it’s for car service or a dermatologist. But when it comes to scheduling mani-pedis? She’s a pro! Thankfully, she won’t have her car on campus next year. Still, she needs to find a dermatologist; we’ve spent years battling her acne. If she neglects her skincare, at least her nails will shine! I bet she’s already checked out the best nail salons in Burlington, VT on Yelp.
She often talks about becoming an independent woman. I told her that doing her own laundry would be a step in the right direction. Oh, and don’t forget about retrieving her immunization records from the pediatrician.
I think she’s completed one load of laundry in her life. As for those immunization records? I know I’ll have to handle that. They’re as crucial for me as they are for her, especially with my impending release date.
Recently, during one of our many mall trips for this and that, we shared dinner together. She expressed her concern about the world’s injustices and her desire to use her skills to make a difference—how noble!
I suggested she start by making a change in my world—like cleaning up after herself, cooking her own pasta, or buying her own strawberries. She rolled her eyes, her way of saying, “Mom, I’m aiming to save the WORLD!”
I got it. She’s always encouraging me to be more organized and tidy. I took the chance to quote Gandhi, suggesting she “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” She looked at me like I was out of my mind, questioning if I was belittling Gandhi’s words by relating them to chores.
I can’t say for sure, but I’d bet he’d support my mission. I’m pretty sure he raised teenagers too—who probably rolled their eyes at him as well. I told her to find me one picture of Gandhi in a wrinkled sari. I’m still waiting for that evidence.
In an effort to embody the change I wish to see in my life, I plan to do some cleaning and organizing today. After all, I want to make Gandhi proud. (Don’t we all?) But first, I need to call the pediatrician’s office and the car dealership to sort things out for Lily. Who knows how long that will take?
I can almost hear Gandhi “tsking” at me right now. I’m certain he’s shaking his head.
As for me, I’m just counting down the days—“August 22nd, August 22nd, August 22nd!”
For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out our other blog posts on home insemination, including tips on at-home insemination kits, which can be found here: Make a Mom. Another great resource for those on this journey is IVF Babble.
In summary, preparing for my daughter’s college journey is a mix of excitement and a touch of dread as I contemplate the independence she’ll gain—and the chaos I’ll leave behind. But it’s all part of the adventure of parenting.