When I was nearing the finish line of my second pregnancy, I remember sitting on a park bench, watching my 3-year-old son play. A passerby pointed at him and asked, “Is that your kid or your grandkid?” Ouch! Sure, I welcomed my boys later in life—my second arrived just before I hit the big 4-0—but I didn’t think I was ready for the grandma label just yet. Dating in New York can feel like a competition where everyone’s a bit self-absorbed, making it a challenge to find the right partner. As a result, I ended up saying “I do” while already 11 weeks pregnant because every bride dreams of that moment with a side of nausea.
While some people might look down their noses at older parents, I want to shout, “Hey, it’s not like I aimed to be a gray-haired toddler trainer!” But as the sleepless nights fade into memory, I’m truly beginning to appreciate the benefits of being an older mom. Many of my fellow older parents echo this sentiment. Even if it wasn’t our plan, a bit of life experience and maturity seems to make us better parents compared to a decade earlier. Here are the nine best things about embracing motherhood later in life.
- No More Partying: By the time our first son came along, my husband and I had already outgrown the nightlife scene. We don’t miss the late nights or the hangovers—though I wouldn’t mind the occasional sleep-in!
- Ready and Excited for Parenthood: After years of contemplating the idea, we were 100% committed to having kids. There were no mixed emotions when the pregnancy test came back positive—in fact, there might have been a few enthusiastic old folks doing the Electric Slide.
- Career Stability: Having kids at 25 can be incredibly rewarding, but it’s also a juggling act between career growth and parenting. We had already established our careers when our first son arrived, allowing us to take a step back and focus on family.
- Increased Patience: Having dealt with anxiety for years, I’ve learned how to manage it better, which means I handle parenting stress with far more grace. A scraped knee doesn’t send me into a panic; instead, I calmly grab the rags and clean it up.
- A Broader Perspective: Motherhood shifts your worldview. I used to buy into toxic cultural beliefs about women’s worth. Now, I see the good and bad in society and teach my kids to navigate it with confidence—eye-rolling included when someone tells my son to “be a man.”
- No Simultaneous Growing Pains: If I had become a mom at 23, I would have been figuring out adulting alongside raising my child—talk about a recipe for chaos! Spacing things out gives you much-needed breathing room.
- Past Mistakes Behind Me: I’ve learned my lessons well—like, I won’t lose $300 playing three-card monte again, nor will I forget to renew my AAA membership before a road trip. Those youthful blunders? Consider them checked off the list!
- The Right Partner: Not every older parent has a fairytale marriage, but the relationships I had in my youth were often misguided. Marrying later usually means making a more thoughtful choice, and I’m grateful for my supportive partner.
- Feeling Grateful: After wanting kids for so long, finally having them feels like a dream come true. If I’d had children at 25, I might have taken my youth and fertility for granted. Even if I’m technically old enough to be their grandma, every moment spent with my kids is a cherished blessing that grows sweeter with each year.
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In summary, being an older mom may come with its own set of challenges, but the benefits far outweigh them. With a calm demeanor, a supportive partner, and a wealth of life experience, older moms are uniquely equipped to tackle the ups and downs of parenting, making every moment with their children truly special.