Updated: Dec. 24, 2014 | Originally Published: July 9, 2010
I’m really not enjoying my time as a stay-at-home mom and I’m itching to return to the workforce. It’s not that I don’t adore my one-year-old; it’s just that I feel trapped. For the past six months, I’ve been balancing part-time work to spend time with my little dynamo, yet I still find myself longing for some freedom. I crave the structure of an office—eight hours a day spent away from near disasters as my little guy scales furniture like a tiny superhero. I’m tired of scrutinizing every bite he takes and honestly, I couldn’t watch another episode of The Wiggles if you paid me.
I can’t take it anymore. The truth is, I hate being a stay-at-home mom.
Maybe this is why I’m facing the possibility of single motherhood with such confidence. The thought of returning to work gives me a sense of autonomy that I desperately want. I dream about the day I can tell my husband, “See you later, Big Guy,” if he starts to test my patience too much. I’m exhausted from the endless drone of sports commentators late into the night. And don’t even get me started on the smell of roast beef and Swiss cheese that lingers in my fridge. I feel queasy every time he comes home to a sea of baby toys and my hair plastered to my forehead.
Over the past two years, I’ve morphed into someone I barely recognize, and I know exactly how it happened. I let my wild side be overtaken by conventional ideas of love and sacrifice. I wanted to emulate my Italian grandmother, who devoted herself to raising her children. I thought putting my dreams on hold would result in stronger relationships. But I’ve realized I don’t need to sacrifice my identity for the men in my life—my grandmother certainly didn’t.
She found a way to keep her passions alive while loving her family. My son will be just fine when I return to work; he’s a social butterfly, and despite my moments of feeling overwhelmed by motherhood, we have a solid bond. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
As for my husband, I don’t dislike him all the time. We actually get along great when we’re not juggling kids. I can’t help but wonder if that’s part of the problem. If we do part ways one day, I’m sure he’d find a young twenty-something who could overlook all my quirky habits—like my love for Grape Nuts every morning and my preference for quiet time with a good book over socializing. I’m not a domestic goddess, and I’m certainly not a perfect partner.
But as I contemplate my next steps, I realize that I need to reclaim my life. If you’re considering similar changes, check out resources like ACOG’s guide on treating infertility for support. And if you’re exploring options for home insemination, this guide is a great resource, too. Plus, for insights on family planning, visit our blog.
In summary, I’m ready to shift gears from being a stay-at-home mom and embrace the opportunities that come with work. It’s time for me to prioritize my happiness and well-being.