Tomorrow marks the day of my birth, and I’ve decided to gift myself a full day of engaging in behaviors that I know will drive my partner, Mark, up the wall. As my special treat, he’s forbidden from complaining or rolling his eyes at any of my antics. Here’s my cheeky agenda (and yes, I might just add to it on a whim):
- Leave every bathroom cabinet and dresser drawer wide open, and sprinkle at least three pairs of flip-flops throughout the house like confetti.
- Call Mark on his work phone, then his cell, and then back to the work phone just to find out what he feels like for dinner. Who cares if he’s in the middle of a meeting? Dinner is crucial!
- Send him a text filled with an exhaustive list of “must-do” tasks, topped off with a smiley face and a few x’s and o’s for good measure.
- Go out for dinner while blasting the AC during the drive to dry my hair. Curls tend to behave better this way than when I use a diffuser. We might even need to leave a half-hour early for a proper hair-drying session.
- Spend at least 15 minutes at the restaurant deliberating over the menu options, only to create a unique dish by combining three different items.
- Treat the hostess stand like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet, stuffing my bag with free toothpicks, matchboxes, and mints. Why? Because they’re free!
- Catch a movie, but not before making a pit stop at the Dollar Store for snacks, avoiding those overpriced treats at the theater.
- Spend the entire film munching on my bag of Sour Patch Kids, which, unlike the theater’s boxes, comes in a crunchy bag.
- Make a late-night run to Walmart for that long-overdue list of items—everything from a fan to nail files. I’ll compare prices on each and every item and pull out all my coupons at checkout, paying with the coins that have been weighing down my bag for ages.
- Finally, I’ll slather my feet in Vaseline, wrap them in plastic, and throw on some wool socks before bed. Do they actually feel like a baby’s bottom? Maybe not, but it’s worth a shot!
- Tossing and turning all night, hogging all the blankets and pillows? Absolutely on the list!
Sounds like the perfect birthday to me!
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Summary: As I prepare to celebrate my birthday, I plan to indulge in quirky habits that annoy my husband, Mark, while he has to keep quiet about it. From leaving cabinets open to cramming my bag with free goodies, it’s all in good fun. Enjoying life’s little annoyances is my birthday gift to myself!