Any veteran mom will tell you that nothing can truly prepare you for the rollercoaster ride of motherhood. Sure, you can dive into every parenting guide and soak up wisdom from countless forums online. You might gather pamphlets from your doctor’s office, but let’s be honest: they’re just as likely to serve as emergency napkins as they are to offer real advice.
Books won’t equip you for that moment when your little one surprises you with a projectile vomit, while simultaneously dealing with a diaper blowout that requires a hazmat suit. And those parenting blogs? They won’t save you when your toddler decides that napping is a myth, and you’re just seconds away from booking a one-way ticket to paradise.
Even the Boy Scouts, with their motto of “always be prepared,” can’t help you here. The truth is, you’ll never be fully ready.
But amid this chaotic honesty, there were some less-than-ideal traits from my pre-kid life that actually smoothed the transition into motherhood. You won’t find these gems in any glossy magazine or parenting book, so let me share how my personal quirks made the journey a bit easier.
1. Housekeeping? Not My Thing.
I’m no domestic goddess. Sure, I keep things tidy enough—not a pigsty, but cleaning isn’t my strong suit. My philosophy? A good vacuuming is overrated and my laundry sorting consists of a “clean” pile on the couch and a “dirty” pile near the washer. Luckily, my lack of cleaning skills meant I was well-prepared for the endless messes that come with kids. It’s just another day stepping over toys on my way to the couch.
2. Sleep? What’s That?
Restful nights have eluded me since before the internet was a household staple. Whether it was stress, anxiety, or just keeping up with the neighbors, sleep was a rare commodity. So, when sleepless nights became a motherhood rite of passage, I was ready. Bring on the sleepless nights—I’d been training for this my whole life!
3. Shopping? No Thanks!
Clothes shopping has always been my idea of torture. The endless cycle of trying things on and hating everything is exhausting. Before kids, I was all about jeans and t-shirts—simple and easy. Now, I’ve just swapped the jeans for comfy yoga pants, which I can conveniently order online, no dressing room necessary.
4. Toilets and I are Not Friends.
In my personal purgatory, I’d be scrubbing toilets for eternity. They’re just gross, and their purpose is to deal with unpleasantness. Thankfully, until my kids are potty trained, I only have my own bathroom battles to fight. I’m perfectly fine with them staying in diapers until just before kindergarten!
5. Exercise? Sounds Exhausting.
Gyms and workout programs make me want to take a nap just thinking about them! With kids in tow, I have a built-in excuse to skip the gym, which eases my guilt. Who needs to sweat when you’re busy parenting? I get all the benefits without actually moving.
6. Makeup? What’s That?
If you see me looking haggard, just know it’s part of the mom look. With kids, I’ve traded foundation for a carefree attitude about my appearance. Anyone noticing the bags under my eyes can just think, “Ah, she’s a mom,” and move on.
So while I may be clueless about how to address the “big talks” with my kids, and my son might turn my tampons into lightsabers when guests are over, my quirky habits have definitely made motherhood a little easier. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to deal with the clean laundry pile before I spend the next four hours attempting to catch some z’s.
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Summary:
Motherhood is a wild ride that no amount of preparation can fully prepare you for. Yet, personal quirks like poor housekeeping, lack of sleep, and a disdain for exercise turned out to be surprisingly beneficial in navigating the chaos of parenting. Embracing these flaws can make the journey a little smoother, allowing you to laugh through the mess.