Dear Mother Earth,
I see you’re struggling—I get it. It’s not that I don’t empathize with your plight, but I have these kids. You know, the little ones whose laughter you crave while they splash in your oceans and weave through your woodlands.
Parenting isn’t all sunshine and hugs. It’s late nights and early mornings, juggling travel soccer practice and baffling math homework. It’s the endless cycle of “What’s for dinner?” and “Can I have a snack?” and “I’m hungry!” And then there’s the panicked realization that today’s field trip is actually happening or that the dance costume costs what???
Honestly, Earth, I can’t catch a break. That’s why I’ve resorted to every possible shortcut, many of which come at your expense. Here are the five I regret the most:
- Diaper Dilemmas: When I was pregnant with my first, I vowed to use cloth diapers. I thought I was being eco-conscious after reading a blog post about the dangers of chemical gels in disposables. But then my baby arrived, and I quickly changed my mind after seeing the messes he made. A third eye? Maybe not so bad—disposable diapers it is!
- Coffee Convenience: When my second little one was born, I was living in New York City and started the day by ordering bagels and coffee from the deli. The thought of wrangling two toddlers to make the trek was daunting. The bagel came wrapped in foil, the coffee in a disposable cup, all stuffed into paper bags—and I tossed the entire setup in the trash every single day.
- K-Cup Catastrophe: Upon discovering my coffee habit, my husband pushed me to buy a Keurig. I quickly became addicted, pressing that magical button for my caffeine fix at all hours—six, seven, sometimes eight K-cups a day! If I stacked the K-cups I’ve tossed since my daughter was born, I’d have a tower taller than the Empire State Building. Talk about a leaning tower of trash!
- Toilet Paper and Tissues: To make phone calls in peace, I’d hand my kids a box of tissues, letting them pull them out one by one. Reusing them became a lost cause when they discovered the joy of flushing. Toilet paper has also been an essential tool for imaginative play—becoming mummies or making leprechaun traps. Sometimes I wish I could just toss a few rolls down the basement stairs and enjoy some peace, but of course, I’ve never tried that…
- The Stomach Flu Saga: The number of items I’ve thrown away due to barf is staggering: pillows, towels, pajamas, and even my son’s beloved stuffed cheetah, Fluffers! I’ve diligently cleaned some things, but there comes a time when you just have to know when to haul the gross stuff out to the curb and run.
And that’s not all, Earth. There was a time we ate all our meals off paper plates for four months after the arrival of my third child. I’ve driven three blocks for school pick-up just to avoid the rain, and tossed out endless plastic trinkets from birthday parties before they ever saw the light of day.
Yet, amid my eco-failures, there’s hope! My kids, inspired by Earth Day and the Lorax, are determined to save you. They’ve encouraged me to pack trash-free lunches and organize recycling. They even scold me for leaving the water running while brushing my teeth. In short, they’re your best chance of redemption.
So, thanks to their passion, I’m committing to a change. From this Earth Day forward, I promise to prioritize your needs over my own. Just let me have one more cup of coffee, and I’m all in!
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Summary:
In this light-hearted reflection, a mom admits to her eco-unfriendly habits while blaming her kids for her shortcuts. From diaper choices to coffee convenience, she humorously chronicles her journey toward realizing her environmental impact. Thankfully, her children are motivated to help save the Earth, giving her hope for a greener future.