Throughout my journey as a parent, I’ve focused on preparing my kids to thrive in the world around them. Like many families, we’ve taught them the basics of politeness—when to say “please,” “thank you,” and even, “no thanks” to questionable food offers. We’ve emphasized hygiene, like washing hands post-bathroom, and the importance of avoiding awkward questions about people’s appearances.
Reflecting on my own childhood, I remember the times I was blissfully naive, like the time I got playfully punched for wanting a “Hertz Donut” or when I fell for a Snipe Hunt. To ensure my children don’t make the same rookie mistakes, I’ve compiled a list of vital life skills:
- If someone asks you to pull their finger, just say no.
- When in doubt about a joke, nod and smile.
- Avoid collecting things unless you want to haul around ugly ceramic turtles forever.
- Believe in your ability to make things happen—this is especially useful in crowded parking lots.
- Steer clear of group texts. Seriously, don’t add me to those!
- Read everything you can get your hands on.
- Learn to enjoy some vegetables. Your future self will be grateful!
- Don’t trust anyone in a bar where peanut shells litter the floor.
- Ensure you’ve actually hung up the phone before complaining about the person on the other end.
- Better yet, refrain from talking negatively about others.
- If you don’t know how to execute a Farmer’s Blow correctly, just don’t.
- Humility often gets you further than vanity.
- Stay away from overly dramatic individuals; the amount of time you spend discussing them is a telltale sign.
- If you’re unsure about whether it’s gas or something else, just hold it in.
- Never, ever attempt a DIY bikini wax.
- If you don’t want something to be read, keep it off paper.
- Create a mental happy place instead of one filled with negative thoughts about your body.
- If you spot a mysterious smear of chocolate in the bathroom, resist the urge to taste it.
- Please, spare us food pics. And foot selfies too.
- If you find yourself at a dubious party, skip the entire pan of brownies.
As our children navigate this unpredictable world, we can at least guide them away from the perils of licking a frozen flagpole. For more insights on parenting and navigating life’s challenges, check out our related post on home insemination tips.
In summary, these lessons are just a starting point to help kids understand the quirks of life. With a little guidance, they can avoid many of the pitfalls that come with growing up.