After relocating from Brooklyn, New York to sunny Florida two years ago, I found my social life taking a nosedive. Working from home didn’t exactly help my quest for new friendships, especially in a place where I was just a stranger on the block.
A few months post-move, I finally clicked with someone — a friendly bartender named Sarah at a local wine bar, my little escape every few weeks to engage in some adult banter. With daughters nearly the same age, we often talked about getting our kids together for a playdate. But somehow, those plans never materialized.
Last year was particularly grim in terms of gun-related accidents. It seemed like every week brought another heartbreaking story—a toddler accidentally shooting his mother while she was changing a diaper, or a child finding a gun in a purse at Walmart and tragically causing a fatal accident. One evening at the wine bar, during a conversation that turned to gun ownership, I discovered that all five other patrons, including Sarah, owned firearms. I was the lone holdout.
When Sarah mentioned casually, “Oh, we keep a loaded shotgun by the bed for safety while my husband is traveling,” I felt a chill. A loaded shotgun and a two-year-old? It dawned on me then that you can’t always tell who the responsible gun owners are without asking the right questions.
Sure, there are responsible gun owners out there—those who securely store their firearms and educate their children about safety. But then there are those who might not take the same precautions. They aren’t bad people, but their homes might not be the safest spaces for kids.
So, is it wrong to inquire about gun ownership before a play date? Absolutely not. In fact, a mother’s article in The Washington Post highlighted her practice of asking parents about guns in their homes before letting her child play there. Of course, this sparked a wave of comments defending Second Amendment rights and pointing out that car accidents are more common. Some even branded her irresponsible for not being prepared to defend her family from potential threats.
Parents should feel empowered to ask questions regarding their child’s safety. If someone views your inquiry about gun ownership as an invasion of privacy, that’s their prerogative, but it doesn’t mean you have to compromise your peace of mind. After all, 40% of gun owners with children don’t store their firearms securely. A 20/20 investigative report showed that many parents have an overly optimistic view of their children’s ability to manage their curiosity around weapons. Tragically, nearly 1,500 kids die from accidental shootings each year—a statistic that’s likely underreported due to a lack of comprehensive data.
With such alarming numbers, it’s only natural for parents to be concerned. If a parent feels it’s a breach of privacy for someone to ask about weapons in their home, that’s valid too. But personally, I would hesitate to arrange a playdate with someone who couldn’t be open about such a significant issue.
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In summary, asking about gun ownership before playdates is a responsible and necessary step for parents concerned about their children’s safety. While some may see it as an invasion of privacy, the priority should always be the well-being of our kids.