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There comes a time in every woman’s life when her close friends begin to start families. For me, that moment hit about five years ago, and it hasn’t slowed down since. Out of my closest friends, a whopping 90% are now proud parents. That’s a significant change!
If you share a strong bond with your friends, the essence of your relationship will remain intact. Your love for each other won’t fade. But make no mistake: things will shift. Your friendship will take on a different shape, your conversations will evolve, and in many ways, you might feel like you’re living on different planets. Because, well, you kind of are.
You’ll still engage in the activities you always enjoyed: catching up, gossiping, discussing the latest TV shows, and making plans. And when you do manage to hang out — even if it’s less frequent — you’ll have a blast, and it will fill that unique void that only a best friend can fill.
But let’s talk about the changes — the significant differences that are hard to miss. They’re apparent not just to you, the childless (and in my case, also single) friend, but to them as well.
So, what’s it like being the friend without kids?
- You might send them a funny meme, ask a question, or just say hi at 10 p.m. (because you’re still buzzing with energy), and receive no reply. Why? Because they’re already in dreamland. Their response will likely come bright and early at 6 a.m. (because they’re up with a little one). Suddenly, it’s your turn to miss their text, as you’re still in bed. I once returned home late on a Saturday night, bursting to share a hilarious story, but knew none of my friends would be awake. So now, most of my weekend chats happen early in the morning — when I finally roll out of bed — and throughout the day. But as the clock approaches 8 p.m.? I know I’m officially on my own for the night. Talk about different schedules!
- Phone conversations are a whole new ballgame. Expect a unique background “soundtrack,” featuring crying babies and tiny human demands. It takes ages to get through a chat, with endless interruptions (“No, you can’t have that right now!” or “Shhhh… sorry, hang on, the baby’s wailing!”). But at least you’re still connecting, and both of you need those moments.
- As a child-free person with ample time to scroll through social media, you’ll find yourself schooling your mom-friends on pop culture and new music trends. I had a good laugh when my friend Lisa texted me asking, “Who is Iggy Azalea?” and a few weeks later, she wanted to know what “Turn Down for What?” even meant. I’m more than happy to enlighten her, and in return, she fills me in on all the pregnancy and baby topics that leave me scratching my head.
- Social gatherings have shifted. While your friends with kids are busy attending birthday parties and wholesome family events, you might be hitting bars, enjoying loud music, and partying late into the night. Neither side can picture swapping lifestyles anytime soon.
- Your life is a bit more self-centered. You indulge in pampering sessions, shop for yourself, and relish sleeping in on weekends. Meanwhile, they’re selfLESS, juggling sleepless nights and diaper duty while providing for their little ones. It’s a perspective shift that deepens my admiration for the mothers in my life.
So yes, our lives have diverged in many ways. Sometimes the differences are glaring, and other times, when we’re together, it feels like we’re back to being carefree teenagers. I may not share the same experiences as my friends when it comes to pregnancy and motherhood, but our bond is unbreakable. That friendship and love? Those will always remain constant.
For more insights on the journey of motherhood, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Navigating friendships as a childless friend can be a unique experience, marked by changing dynamics, differing schedules, and varying lifestyles. While the bond may evolve, the essence of friendship remains strong, allowing for shared laughter and love despite the differences in life stages.