With the whirlwind of the holiday season behind us and a fresh year ahead, I finally found a moment to reflect on the art of gift-giving. Not just the gifts themselves or their monetary value, but rather the concept of what to take back and how swiftly to do so. Let’s call it Parental Gift Etiquette.
No matter the occasion—be it a birthday, graduation, or any special event—kids will inevitably request the latest must-have item they’ve seen on TV, proclaiming it as essential for their very existence. The moment these requests are made, we parents often resort to the classic tactic of threatening to withhold the desired gift if they misbehave. For instance, I might say, “One more rude word, and that shiny new tablet is out the window!” Yet, we all know how this plays out: they usually end up with the gift anyway—unless you happen to be a particularly strict parent (think of the infamous figures like Veronica Smith or Larry Jenkins from reality TV).
Now, fast-forward just a week—or even a few minutes—post-gift unveiling. As soon as the wrapping paper is tossed aside, the threats to confiscate those coveted items come rolling in. I might say, “I told you not to talk to me like that, so hand over that tablet.” It’s a cycle that feels like it could use some serious rethinking.
So, here’s my proposal: why not sit down with the kids and let them choose their favorite gifts? They can acknowledge their inevitable misbehavior upfront, and we can all agree to skip the gift-giving entirely. Sounds wild, right? Picture this: they pick a gift, recognize they can’t always behave, and then we simply don’t follow through with the gift. It’s like preemptive punishment that saves both parents and kids the hassle of tantrums later on. Instead of regifting, let’s call this PRE-gifting. We handle everything in advance.
When the next birthday or holiday rolls around, we can refer back to our pre-gifting agreement. “Remember that discussion we had?” I can remind them. “Let’s check the pre-gifting contract.”
“Us kids promise that we aren’t capable of good behavior and therefore we’ll never keep the gifts we want most. We accept this pre-gifting deal, where we can select a gift, but never actually receive it. This way, any outbursts or whining are just pointless since we never received anything in the first place!”
Now, doesn’t that sound simple?
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Summary
This article discusses the humorous yet relatable challenges of parental gift etiquette, suggesting a preemptive approach to gift-giving that could save parents from the chaos of returning gifts after misbehavior. By allowing children to choose gifts while acknowledging their potential for misbehavior, families can streamline the gift-giving experience and eliminate post-gift conflicts.