Support your partner’s ambitions and follow their lead, even if it means stepping away from the dreams you once cherished. Take on their surname, so that your community sees them in a more favorable light. Adjust your hairstyle to fit societal expectations. Slap on some makeup, ditch the glasses, and don a dress. Then, spend the next couple of decades in their shadow, nurturing their aspirations, helping them chase their dreams—even the outrageous ones that seem out of reach.
Sound familiar? That’s the narrative that many of our mothers—and those before them—were handed. It was the prescribed role for American women. For some, it may still be the overt expectation. For all of us, there’s an undeniable current of this experience that we navigate as women.
This is also Hillary Clinton’s story.
Picture this: a young woman at Yale Law School in the early ’70s, having just served as the first-ever student speaker at her college’s commencement. At that stage, Hillary had already canvassed low-income neighborhoods for voter fraud, campaigned for a rising Republican presidential hopeful, and even met Martin Luther King Jr.
Yet, instead of pursuing the limitless path that her life seemed to promise—a path few women of that era could even fathom—Hillary Clinton chose to invest her most formative years into her husband’s career and raising their daughter.
Speaking of that daughter, Chelsea Clinton embodies the kind of woman we hope to raise. A graduate of Stanford, she holds master’s degrees from both Oxford and Columbia, not to mention a Ph.D. in international relations from Oxford. As a working mother of two, she’s poised, compassionate, and dedicated to a life of service.
Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to find the time and energy to guide a young woman in the age of Instagram and TikTok, while Hillary Clinton managed to do it under the glaring spotlight of the White House.
That’s the real Hillary Clinton—the one some of you may have grown to dislike. Underneath the public persona and years of service in the highest echelons of government, her story resonates with many of us.
It’s this rich history—along with her achievements as a U.S. Senator and Secretary of State—that earned her the title of “most admired woman in the world” from Gallup a whopping 20 times, including 14 consecutive years. For all those years, people recognized the magnitude of her sacrifices and contributions, even if they didn’t particularly like her.
But everything shifted when Hillary had the audacity to chase her own ambitious dream: the presidency. Suddenly, her likability plummeted, marking the lowest popularity ratings for a Democratic candidate in history. This wasn’t just a result of a poorly managed email scandal or an international crisis—it ran deeper.
For months, critics have questioned Hillary’s “stamina” to be President. Recently, when she disclosed her diagnosis of walking pneumonia, rather than receiving applause for her determination to work through it, she was met with “I told you so” sentiments. But that’s what strong women do, right?
When Hillary’s health care initiative fell flat in the ’90s, she faced ridicule. Instead of retreating into the shadow of a traditional First Lady, she transformed that setback into a monumental achievement: the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), which ensures that no mother in America has to feel helpless when her child needs medical attention. That program is the phoenix that rose from the ashes of Hillary’s very public struggle.
For me, when I face a setback, I usually find myself curled up with a pint of ice cream and a box of tissues. But not Hillary.
Over the past months, some have suggested we should keep our discussions light and funny, steering clear of politics. But here’s the deal: you should vote for whoever aligns with your beliefs. You should support what you believe in. However, it would be disingenuous to discuss the role of motherhood and not acknowledge how it’s shaped our perception of Hillary Clinton.
This November, I’m casting my vote for the fierce mother, the trailblazer. Whoever you choose on election day, just remember to smile.