When I first found out I was pregnant, I assumed my expanding belly would mean a dwindling sex drive. Boy, was I wrong! My hormones were on overdrive, and my partner and I were enjoying intimate moments well into the third trimester. However, around the 36-week mark, things took a sharp turn. Just as everyone was telling me that some bedroom activity could help kickstart labor, I began to feel uncomfortable. With a growing belly blocking my view and no position feeling quite right, all I wanted during those final weeks was a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, free from hip pain and bathroom trips. I figured that after the baby arrived, along with recovery and the inevitable sleepless nights, intimacy would drop to the bottom of my to-do list.
To my surprise, once the baby arrived, my libido surged back to life. Exhaustion? No problem. Maxi-pad the size of a small pillow? Bring it on! My partner and I found ourselves sneaking moments together even after those 3 a.m. feedings, making out like we were teenagers again. It felt exhilarating, and I began counting down the days until my 6-week postpartum checkup like a child waiting for Christmas. I was eager to get the green light from my doctor before jumping back in.
When that day finally came, I was relieved to hear that everything was healing well from my C-section. But then, my doctor dropped the bombshell: “Sex after having a baby, just so you know, it might not be great.” Seriously? I felt like a walking ball of desire. “It could even feel like your first time again. It might hurt.” Uh, what? I didn’t even remember my first time!
Well, guess what? It hurt. A lot. Fast forward a couple of days later, and we tried again with a new position. Still not great. I was moving at a snail’s pace, and it felt more like a chore than the fun times we used to have. This was a tough pill to swallow, as sex had always been easy and enjoyable for us. Suddenly, it felt like work—painful work.
I was perplexed for two reasons. First, I’d had a C-section, so it wasn’t like I had extra stitches tightening things up down there. But it felt as though I was having sex with a telephone pole. Secondly, I had only pushed for a few hours before the surgery, so I expected to feel looser. Instead, it was as if my vagina had shrunk by three sizes!
I reached out to some friends, who all suggested the same fixes: lube? Check. Me on top? Slightly better, but not much. A glass of wine beforehand? I hadn’t had alcohol in ages, and one glass sent me tipsy without helping at all. Oh, and did I mention trying to be intimate with a baby sleeping just down the hall? It’s not as hot as people say when you’re trying to suppress cries of “OWWW!” while hoping the baby stays asleep.
Just when I was about to hit my breaking point, we decided to give it another go. This time, it didn’t hurt! I was so relieved that I started crying right in the middle of it all. My partner, thinking I was in pain, stopped. After calming his nerves and assuring him I was fine, we picked up where we left off. Even with the tears, I was overjoyed that it didn’t hurt anymore. With each subsequent attempt, things improved more and more.
So yes, the journey back to intimacy can be rocky after having a baby, but it does get better. Just remember to keep it quiet so you don’t wake the little one. For more insights on pregnancy and intimacy, check out this great resource on pregnancy and how to enhance your experience, or explore fertility supplements to support your journey. And if you’re interested in home insemination, visit this link for valuable information.
Summary:
Intimacy after having a baby can be challenging, but it often improves over time. Hormonal changes and physical discomfort can make sex feel different, even painful, at first. However, with patience and understanding, couples can rediscover their connection and enjoy intimacy once again.